


Malady of the Future

by parka_girl



Category: Infinite (Band), Teen Top (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 34,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8136086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parka_girl/pseuds/parka_girl
Summary: A disease wipes out most of the world. L, L.Joe, and a little girl they rescue must find a way to survive. It is set a little bit before and during the pandemic, but mostly set not long after most people have died.





	1. Disease

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Camp Nano in July 2015. Each chapter is a different prompt, which I wove together to form the story you find here.

It spread quickly and with almost no warning. Myungsu didn't know when the disease came to Korea. It wasn't like anything they'd experienced before, not easily contained or just confined to Korea, or even Asia as a whole. Instead it started spreading across the world. He remembers sitting in his office, watching the news. The disease, whatever it was, was sweeping across the globe, taking down city after city and country after country.

There was, as far as Myungsu could discern, no rhyme or reason. Of course, the most vulnerable were hit the hardest, but healthy adults and teens weren't exempt. Myungsu did know there was an incredibly slim chance that he would survive and an even slimmer chance that he'd be immune. He'd read about it, he'd watched the few survivors reporting from inside once bustling cities that were now completely empty of the living.

When the disease finally came to South Korea, it didn't slow. It washed over the country like a tsunami, leaving dead bodies in its' wake. Myungsu never got sick. In fact, it took him two days before he realized he should be dead. He'd lost everyone he knew -- coworkers, friends, his family. They were all gone. He was the only one in his office, his building, left alive.

He spent the first week in his flat, crying because he couldn't handle all the death. A week later, he saw people, soldiers presumably, on the streets. Two weeks later, they came for him.

He heard them in the hall of this building, pounding on the all the doors. He'd been waiting, scared to even leave his flat, for them to come. He didn't know what they were going to do to him, but he was slightly terrified, how could he be anything else? It took them less than two minutes to knock down his door. He didn't resist, he let them drag him away. He wondered if he'd ever see his flat again.

It's only later that he realized the people, men he assumed, were wearing full face masks and body armor, as if Myungsu could hurt them. The thought came to him when he was alone in his cell, which was exactly what it was even though it's a hotel room, not a prison cell. He didn't see anyone for twenty four hours, he knew this because his room had a clock.

He heard noises, but the little hole that would normally let him see out into the hall was covered with something. He couldn't run away, either, the door was locked tight. But he could hear people talking, yelling and arguing. He knew he wasn't the only one, but he didn't know how many people there were around him.

He saw people on his second day, everyone around him wore HAZMAT suits, or whatever they're called, and Myungsu found them terrifying. They wouldn't talk to him, though they did give him food and water. They took from him, though. Blood, strands of his hair, flakes from his skin that he couldn't even see. They made him pee in a cup several times a day.

This goes on for a long time. Months, maybe? Myungsu never left the room, he started to work out because he had nothing better to do. He could turn the TV on, but whatever stations were still on air only seem to show reruns of dramas. Sometimes he watched them, most times he didn't.

Occasionally, late at night, he could hear people trying to talk to each other, but no one was really close enough. He was basically alone. Solitary confinement, he thought, although there were almost always people around, in and out of his room. They just didn't talk to him, except to tell him what to do. He felt like he was going crazy, but there was nothing he could do, and he didn't want to die.

During his first week, he took a painting down from the wall above the toilet in the bathroom and started keeping track of the days and weeks that passed. They're hidden out of sight from the people who were testing him. He'd thought about keeping track behind the painting in the main room, but he'd already guessed they were observing him and had to assume that there were cameras. He couldn't find any in the bathroom, which seemed reasonable, so anything he wanted the doctors, if that's who they were, not to know about, he did in there. 

Along with food, they gave him clothing, he realized they probably brought it from his flat when they took him. There were a few books that sometimes came with the food, but it wasn't ever enough to keep him occupied for very long. Maybe it was all the anxiety or maybe he'd started losing his ability to concentrate, but he wasn't sure. Mostly he tried not to think too hard about anything, of course it never worked. 

It took a month for a pattern to establish. Myungsu kept track of who visited him and when and after three months, he realized that the number of doctors had drastically dropped. He asked, but no one answered. After four months, there were more military people than doctors. After five months, only a handful of people visited him, though now only every other day and no one asked him to pee in a cup. 

Everything changed when he'd been stuck in there for six months. 

Myungsu hasn't seen anyone for almost a week. He'd been stockpiling food that wouldn't spoil, because he knew at some point they'd forget about him. So, for a week he subsisted on protein bars and bottled water. At the end of the week, still no one visited him, and so he tried the door. It was still locked, but he figured he might as well attempt to pick it. It didn't work. There wasn't a way for him to know what kind of lock is on the door, he couldn't see out. 

In desperation, he flung himself against the door, exhausted. There obviously wasn't anyone to hear, because there wasn't any noise from the outside and no one came to check on him. He felt like he was in a horror film, only there really wasn't a way out. He fell asleep with that on his mind and was plagued with nightmares. 

Sunlight flooded into the room when he woke up. His stomach growled and he knew he had to get out. He was up too high to break the windows and scale down the wall. He went back to the door, he looked at it and then tried it again. Still locked. Then he noticed the hinges, they were just screwed into the door with normal screws. 

He went into the bathroom and found a metal nail file he'd previously overlooked. He sat on the floor and began to unscrew the hinges from the door. It took him all day. It was dark outside when he finally finished. He didn't know if it was going to work. He hadn't tried to loosen the door for fear of it collapsing on him while he was working on it. But now he's ready. He'd put on the clothes that were in the best shape, used the shitty scissors to trim his hair and used the safety razor to shave what he'd taken to calling his failed hipster beard. He even showered, it was strange that there was still warm water. He looked more like a human and less like a convict when he finally returned to stand in front of the door. 

He'd moved the chair he used to unscrew the top hinge out of the way. He reached out, sliding his fingers down the edge of the door, between the frame and the wood. He tried to grab hold and then he did, and pulled. At first nothing happened, and then the door started to move. He'd worked out enough that he was much stronger than when he'd entered this room. He didn't get the door open all the way, but just wide enough that he was able to slip out. When he looked at the lock, he swore. 

It was a padlock, the door was chained shut. He looked down the hall, it was full of doors with padlocks on them. Even if he'd been able to pick the hotel room lock, he never would've gotten the door open. 

Myungsu made his way toward the sign that read exit. He looked at the cameras in the hall, it was clear that no one was coming to get him. He remembered a movie he once watched, before the world ended. A woman woke up in a deserted hospital, in a deserted city. She couldn't process it and that was precisely how Myungsu felt. 

The elevator doors opened with a soft ding, there's even elevator music playing as it took him down to the lobby. The hotel was deserted. There was no one, there weren't even any signs that people had been there recently. Myungsu walked up to the front desk, then around it. He looked at the computers, they were all on. It was almost as though people left in a rush. 

Myungsu's day job, before, involved computers and while he wasn't a hacker, he was a quick learner. After a few minutes, he figured out how to unlock all the doors. And then he looked around for a key. He didn't find one. He walked into the back office. It was there that he found the body, slumped on a table with a cup of now-moldy coffee, or what Myungsu assumed was coffee. Hanging from the dead man's belt was a ring of keys that looked like they could go to the padlocks on Myungsu's floor. 

Taking a deep breath just outside the room, Myungsu stepped in and gingerly took the keys off the man's pants. It was as though he was worried the man was going to wake up, but he was clearly dead. Myungsu had seen signs of the illness and the way it sucked everything living from the people it killed, there was nothing left. The man slid to the floor as soon as Myungsu pulled the keys free. He was a shell of a man, nothing more. Myungsu turned and hurried from the room. 

He took the elevator again, the soft elevator music was unnerving, but it was quicker than the stairs. Until the power went out, of course, he thought distractedly. Myungsu looked at the keys as the elevator rose to the 10th floor. There were only about 20 keys, which was about the number of rooms in his hall, he wondered if that's how many people there were left living. 

Myungsu saw all the keys were stamped with a number, then he realized it was room number. He stepped out of the elevator and looked to his right. There was a door there, room 1011. Myungsu found the key, unlocked the padlock and pulled it, and the chain, off of the door with a loud clank. He opened the door. The first thing that hit him was the smell. He stepped into the room and then he saw the body. She, Myungsu thought, was in bed, very clearly dead and had been that way for some time. 

He tried the next four rooms, all with similar results. In the sixth room he found someone alive, a little girl. She looked terrible, gaunt and barely alive, but her face broke into a smile when she saw him. Myungsu scooped her up and moved to the seventh. It and the next five rooms were filled with death. Room 1022 was his own, he skipped it. The next three rooms were empty, if there had been anyone in them, Myungsu didn't know what happened to them. He searched the rooms, one of them had a broken window and when Myungsu looked out it, holding the little girl away, he saw a body on the sidewalk below. He had no explanation for the other two rooms. 

Room 1026 was occupied. There was a young man, Myungsu saw, sitting on the bed, staring at the TV, which was on. When the door opened, Myungsu saw him turn his head. His mouth opened in shock and Myungsu thought maybe he was crying, but Myungsu couldn't be sure. The young man, Myungsu realized, was about his age. He stood up, gathered what looked like a pillowcase, and followed Myungsu out of the room

The girl reluctantly left Myungsu's arms for the other man's as they checked the remaining four. There was an old man, who asked them to please let him die in peace. There was no one else alive. Myungsu hadn't wanted to leave the old man, but he said he wanted to see his family again and was letting time do it's job. It was just the three of them. 

"Byunghun." The man said to Myungsu while they were standing in front of the elevator. The girl had fallen asleep after eating a protein bar that Myungsu had found in one of the rooms. 

Myungsu looked over. "What?"

"My name." Byunghun's voice sounded rusty and raw. Myungsu knew his probably sounded the same. 

"Myungsu." He said, softly.

Byunghun nodded and then the doors to the elevator opened with that gentle ding. Myungsu pressed the button for the lobby, he wanted to find the floor plans of the hotel, to find out if there was any food. 

They didn't talk in the elevator, but they did stand close to each other. The girl was still asleep, she clung to Byunghun's shirt. Just when Myungsu couldn't stand the silence any longer, the elevator doors dinged again, emptying them out into the lobby. 

Myungsu walked toward the front desk and after a little poking around, he founds the kitchens. He looked up at Byunghun. "Downstairs, one level." 

Byunghun nodded and then the two of them, plus the little girl who had awoken, made the short trip downstairs. The doors were locked, but the keys Myungsu had taken from the dead man had one that fit the lock to the kitchen. Once inside, the stench of rotten food forced them back out again. 

"Back up?" Byunghun asked. 

Myungsu was about to voice his agreement when a door caught his gaze. He walked away from them, dimly aware that Byunghun was following him. The door was unlocked, strangely, but the room was deserted. 

After a moment Myungsu realized what they were looking at. It was a lab. There was a computer on and Myungsu walked over to it. He opened several files before stumbling on a list of names, ages, birthdates and other personal information. He found himself. He found Byunghun. He found the girl. 

"Sooah." Myungsu said, softly. He turned, the girl was looking at him. 

"Her name?" Byunghun asked. 

Myungsu nodded. 

"Bang Sooah." The girl said, the first words she'd spoken this they found her. 

Myungsu walked over to them. "Kim Myungsu." 

Sooah smiled and it made Myungsu's heart ache because they needed food, desperately. 

"Lee Byunghun." Byunghun said. 

Sooah looked surprised. "Like the actor?" 

Byunghun smiled, slightly, but before he answer Sooah spoke again. 

"I'm hungry." 

Myungsu watched Byunghun's face fall and the two men made eye contact. 

"I know, sweetheart." Byunghun said softly, looking at Myungsu. 

"Right." Myungsu began, "Let's go see if there's anything upstairs and then, if not, we can leave in search of food." And shelter and clothing and a whole bunch of other things Myungsu didn't add, but he could tell that Byunghun had filled in the blanks himself. 

"Okay." Sooah said and Byunghun nodded without saying anything. 

Myungsu didn't know what they were going to find outside, he wasn't even sure how they were going to survive, but at least he didn't have to do it alone. He had Sooah and Byunghun, they were depending on him and he on them.


	2. Autumn

Myungsu's first thought was that it was cold outside, but sunny. It took him a bit of math to realize that it wasn't cold, it was just cool. The leaves on the trees near the hotel were starting to change. It was autumn, he realized. He tried to figure out when he'd been captured by the military, but his brain was having trouble with months.

"October." Byunghun said, interrupting Myungsu's thoughts.

"June, then." Myungsu replied.

Byunghun nodded and then handed Sooah to Myungsu. He'd looked at her birthday on the files he'd skimmed, she was almost seven, but so tiny she could've been younger.

"Myungsu-oppa." Sooah said, softly.

Both Myungsu and Byunghun looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Food." She said, which caused Myungsu to look around.

They were definitely still in Seoul, in fact they were in a rather nice part of Seoul. Myungsu looked down the street, but it was clear. He remembered in movies that there were always cars abandoned in the streets, but there was nothing like that. He turned, still holding Sooah, and looked up. He hadn't paid attention to the logo in the hotel, but now he saw they were in the Park Hyatt Seoul, he wondered why that hotel, why Gangnam.

He looked around again. He had no idea where they were, not really. He'd been to Gangnam a bunch of times, with friends and coworkers, but only by train or bus and it's clear they're not working. Eventually, because he had to, he decided they should go right.

"This way." Myungsu said into the silence. Both Sooah and Byunghun offered no arguments against it, so they walked.

They walked for fifteen minutes, Myungsu carrying Sooah as they walked. Eventually Byunghun spotted a sign for a supermarket down a side street. The door was hanging open and when they got closer, they realized it had probably been forced open. When they went inside, though, there was food on the shelves, though none of it was fresh.

"We should eat and then take food with us." Byunghun suggested.

Myungsu nodded and gently set Sooah down. He looked around the store. He found a rack of reusable bags and grabbed a handful and began carefully going through the items. One bag he filled with instant noodles and then emptied it, filling it with bottles of water before piling on the noodles. He filled four of the bags with food and water before handing another four to Byunghun.

They ate out of a can until they could eat no more. Myungsu was worried they were going to be sick in a few hours, they'd eaten so fast, but they had a lot to do. After an hour, they decided to move on. Myungsu had taken a pencil and a piece of paper with a list of items they needed, he presented it to Sooah and Byunghun.

"Winter clothing. Cooking supplies. More food. A safe place to stay." Sooah read each word out slowly, as though savoring them. Maybe she'd thought she'd forgotten how to read. How long had she been alone?

They got up, Sooah saying she'd walk at least for a while. They returned to the main road, anxious to find somewhere to go before nightfall. It was mid-morning, Myungsu thought, as they walked down the empty road. It was huge, multiple lanes that should've been crowded with traffic.

Byunghun spoke, breaking the silence. "There's a mall, I think, nearby." Myungsu glanced over Byunghun, who shrugged. "I recognize the street names."

They walked, looking around as they did. It took ten minutes and then, exactly as Byunghun had predicted, there was the mall. If Myungsu thought the empty roads were eerie, it was nothing compared to an empty mall. The stores were shuttered, but a few seconds in front of one of them proved that it wouldn't be difficult getting it.

There were stores, restaurants, even a hotel. Myungsu didn't want to spend too much time here, but they had to find clothing. Byunghun stopped and they studied the mall's directory. There was a sporting goods store, so they headed there first. One the way, they grabbed a long abandoned shopping cart, putting their bags of food into it. Sooah was briefly distracted by a toy store, which Byunghun graciously, Myungsu thought, unlocked for her.

She burst into tears upon entering and Myungsu wondered if she'd watched her parents die. The two men helped her pick out some toys, plushies, before returning to their cart. She clutched one of them tightly, her other hand in Myungsu's as they walked.

Even as they walked through the silent mall, Myungsu kept looking for people. Though he knew the chances of them running into survivors would be next to nothing, he couldn't help himself. Eventually, much to Myungsu's relief, they found the sporting good store. This one was harder to get into, but eventually they found a way inside, at least they hadn't had to break any glass.

Myungsu found another sheet of paper and wrote out a list of items they should look for. Byunghun headed toward the camping section while Myungsu and Sooah went to clothing. He outfitted her at first, letting her pick out anything she wanted, and then he went in search of clothing for himself and Byunghun. They were not quite the same size, and maybe it was due to lack of food, but they were close enough that it made finding clothes easier. He and Sooah filled up the second cart they'd taken and made their way back to Byunghun.

He'd gotten everything off of the list, along with a few things Myungsu hadn't added. And then they tried to figure out what to do next. They sat on a bench outside of the sporting goods store, the mall was growing darker as the sun began to fade.

"Batteries, matches or something to start fires. Underwear, pajamas." Byunghun began listing things off as Myungsu wrote them down.

They were able to complete most of his list, including getting more clothes, before leaving the mall. The last item, though, the one leftover from Myungsu's original list, was harder. They stood outside the mall, trying to decide what to do. There were hotels, there was one in the mall itself, but neither of them wanted to stay in a hotel again. Sooah was curled up in one of the carts, one of the plushies in her arms.

"We have three hours until it gets dark." Byunghun finally said.

"We have to find somewhere to stay." Myungsu added softly, looking at Byunghun and then over at Sooah.

They lapsed into silence and when Byunghun started pushing his cart noisily back the way they'd come, Myungsu hadn't protested. When they got to the road, Myungsu pointed left and left they went, hoping to find something, somewhere, to stay.


	3. Night

They walked for an hour, dusk following them away from the mall. Myungsu didn't know where they were going, nor did Byunghun, but they had to keep moving. They passed building after empty building, as they crossed one empty road after another. Eventually Myungsu had had enough of giant, empty roads. They'd crossed four and in the middle of the next block, Myungsu stopped.

"There's nothing here." Which was a lie, really, there were plenty of things, but Myungsu felt exposed. He didn't want to look out onto this giant, empty, roads. He met Byunghun's gaze and saw they were in agreement, which made him feel better.

"Here." Byunghun said, pointing to the left. "Let's go down here."

They walked on a side street for ten minutes as the evening started to descend. Eventually they reached another street. They crossed it. There was a 7-11, they stopped in for drinks that weren't water, breaking into places had become easier sometime during the day, and then continued on until they found another side street. They turned right and then, just when Myungsu thought they were going to have to sleep in someone's house or flat, he saw a sign.

Myungsu had never stayed in a guesthouse before, but he'd known people who had. He wondered what this place would be like. It wasn't a hotel, but it should have a kitchen. And it was hidden away, not on any of the main roads.

They'd been walking from the mall for over an hour, if not longer. Myungsu's feet, his arms, were getting tired. And looking at Byunghun, he knew they felt the same way. The guesthouse seemed like the best bet. They turned down the street, coming to a stop in front of the building. Myungsu tested the door, it wasn't locked. Myungsu wondered, briefly, why, but once inside he realized it was because the lock was powered electronically. He shoved a chair under the handle. Not that it would stop people, but it would slow them.

There was no electricity anywhere in the building, but that didn't matter. In one of their carts there were lanterns, and they had about an hour of daylight left anyway. If they were lucky. They left the carts downstairs, taking a few items, and Sooah who'd woken up again, upstairs. They selected one of the bigger rooms, with multiple beds. Sooah and her plushie, a bear, had crawled into one of the beds and promptly fell asleep.

It took Myungsu and Byunghun five trips to carry everything upstairs. They hid their carts, though from who neither were sure if asked, in the office behind the front desk. They sat on beds opposite each other, saying nothing. Now that they'd accomplished all of their tasks, Myungsu was at a loss for what to do next.

Byunghun leaned toward Myungsu. “Let’s explore.”

Myungsu glanced at Sooah and then nodded. They got up quietly, slipping out of the room without waking Sooah. They started climbing the stairs, beginning their tour on the top floor. That’s where they found the kitchen. The water was still running, the gas on, too. Myungsu didn’t know how long that was going to last, but they might as well use the kitchen while they could.

There were lockers, unlocked but empty. The refrigerator was full of molding food, which they’d have to get rid of in the morning. But the rest of the place was clean, if slightly dusty. Myungsu found cleaning supplies on a lower level, in a closet, and on the main floor, Byunghun found candles. There was a whiteboard propped up against a wall, which Myungsu brought upstairs with them. On it he listed the items they needed. At the moment it only had three items: water bottles (empty), candles, and matches. Eventually they would add to it.

Not long after they returned to the room, Sooah woke up. She said she was hungry and the three of them walked upstairs to the kitchen. The instant ramen they made was good and they ate by a giant picture window that looked out onto Gangnam. It was weird, Myungsu thought, that some of the buildings seemed to still have electricity.

Dusk was quickly vanishing and soon night would be upon them. Myungsu could feel fear pushing its’ way up his spine. He reached out and fluffed Sooah’s hair and then asked if she wanted to try the shower. After making Byunghun check it out first, to make sure the shower was safe, Sooah agreed.

The water was hot and she looked sleepy and happy when she finally emerged from the shower. Myungsu went next while Byunghun put Sooah to bed. He enjoyed the shower, even though he’d had one in the room he’d been living in for six months, there was something about freedom that made it sweeter, nicer.

He traded off with Byunghun and sat down on one of the beds near Sooah. He watched her in the flickering of the candle light. They’d only used one lantern, deciding to conserve their battery resources for now. He wasn’t really tired, but he felt exhausted. He stretched out, looking up at the bunk bed above his. His eyes were already sliding shut when Byunghun returned.

In the silence of the room, of the city, he could hear Byunghun moving around, blowing out the candle, then crawling into another bed. The room was almost completely dark when Myungsu finally felt himself fall asleep.

He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep, but he woke up to the sound of crying. At first he thought it was Sooah, then he thought maybe he’d woken himself up. And then, in the dim light there was in the room, he saw Byunghun’s shoulders shaking.

Without thinking and not quite awake, Myungsu slipped out of his bed and padded quietly across the room. He sat on the edge of Byunghun’s bed and reached out, resting a hand on the other man’s lower back. Byunghun turned, looking up at Myungsu.

He looked like Myungsu felt. Lost, alone, scared. Myungsu was overcome with an urge to wrap himself around Byunghun, to protect him. Not dissimilar the urge he felt when he looked at Sooah, but there was something more there, something deeper, a desire Myungsu had forgotten existed. Myungsu reached out, hesitantly, and gently wiped Byunghun’s tears away.

Byunghun’s hand slipped out and curled around Myungsu’s. He pulled, a short, gentle tug and Myungsu realized he wanted what Myungsu was willing to give. He slid under the covers, aligning his body with Byunghun’s. He wrapped his arms around Byunghun, holding him close and then, before he even noticed, he was asleep.


	4. Trust

Myungsu and Byunghun did not talk about sharing the same bed. Nor did they discourage Sooah from joining them when she got scared. Instead, they just accepted, somehow, that this was the way their life has gone. At some point, Myungsu knew, he’d have to deal with his attraction to Byunghun. Perhaps Byunghun felt the same, which would make things easier. But if not … Myungsu didn't dwell on those thoughts.

Instead, he focused on their situation now. They’ve been living in the guest house for almost two weeks. They’d redesigned, Myungsu was certain the previous owners wouldn’t care, they’re long dead after all. They’d moved beds upstairs, to the same area as the kitchen. They did not venture onto the lower levels, except to leave the building. There was plenty of room in the kitchen and what had once been called the common area.

Each afternoon, the three of them leave the guest house. Sooah was in charge of their lists, she read off the items they needed as they pick through the remains of the stores immediately surrounding the guest house. Eventually Myungsu and Byunghun discussed, after Sooah’d gone to bed, that they’re going to have to expand their hunting grounds, as it were. If they planned to stay in the guest house, they’d need to.

Sometimes Sooah wanted to stay home and so one of them would go out alone, with a hiking backpack and a baseball bat, just in case. Though the longer they stayed, the less they worried about running into people. It was equal parts reassuring and terrifying. Myungsu just tried to focus on the idea that they would survive until other survivors found them. Byunghun told Myungsu he just focused on the fact that they didn't have to fight anyone to survive.

At some point, maybe two months into their time in the guest house, Myungsu realized that he and Byunghun had begun to communicate without speaking. They talked, to fill silences and to talk to Sooah, but they seemed to know what the other was thinking. Not all the time, but enough of the time that Myungsu found he’d taken comfort in it.

Sometimes, after Sooah’d gone to bed, fast asleep with her piles of plushies to keep her safe, Byunghun and Myungsu escaped to the roof. Myungsu talked about starting a garden on the roof, he’d been gathering seeds whenever they find some. They’d taken to raiding people’s flats. The three of them do it together, though Sooah and one of the boys usually stayed outside until they’re sure there weren't any dead bodies inside.

Most of the dead are gone, though Myungsu didn't know why. Byunghun suggested this is because they went elsewhere to die and Myungsu couldn't argue with that. They didn't take clothes or bedding, or many of people’s truly personal belongings, it was an unspoken rule they established without ever bringing it up.

Instead, they took things the little things, useful things: candles, canned goods, instant foods that are still edible. Myungsu looked for seeds, gardening tools which proved hard to find in stores, but easy in the flats they visited.

On the roof, Myungsu sketched out his plans for the garden. But it was getting colder, and the plans have to wait until the spring. Their immediate concerns focused on keeping themselves warm. They talked about different ways to heat the guest house, but finally settled on seeing if they can get some generators to power heaters they found in someone’s house.

Their conversations were half-audible and should anyone hear them, they’d be confused. It was if Byunghun and Myungsu developed telepathy. Myungsu didn't know how it happened, but he was grateful. It meant they didn't argue, they just talked things out in half thoughts the other person understood. Maybe it was because it was just the two of them who are adults, but whatever it was, though, they understood each other.

It snowed, one night. They’d been foraging for generators and had accumulated quite a lot as well as fuel to run them. Myungsu also managed to find a bookshop which had books on cars and he and Sooah brought lots of car batteries into the guest house as well. Myungsu wasn’t sure he could hook them up, but he’d try. They needed to be warm when the snow finally came.

Sooah was in bed and Myungsu was on the roof, alone. Their hot water still worked, though Myungsu didn't know why, and Byunghun was taking a shower. By the time he joined Myungsu on the roof, the snow was falling at a slow, though steady, rate. Without thinking, Myungsu reached out and slid his gloved hand into Byunghun’s.

They slept together every night, and more often than not, Sooah joined them. They didn't need the warmth, though they would at some point, but instead they needed comfort. And sometimes Myungsu needed to feel Byunghun in his arms. He wanted more, he could feel himself wanting more. The touch of Byunghun’s fingers against his skin, the feel of his mouth on Myungsu’s own, the taste, the smell. But it was all in his head, in the shower. He pushed it away, he couldn't focus on that when their survival was at stake.

A few days later and the city was covered in a blanket of snow. There were no more lights, though sometimes Myungsu could see traffic signals that ran on solar power still running. Myungsu thought that’s why their water remained hot and the gas was still on. He tried not to question it too much, the day both of those stop working was a day Myungsu dreaded.

They bundled up, taking Sooah onto the roof that night. For a brief moment, when the snow stops and moon came out, everything looked beautiful. They threw snowballs and made snow angels. Myungsu pretended this was their family, the three of them, they’d always been together. He ignored the ache of how they met, that they were the only people alive in all of Seoul. Instead, he enjoyed that right now, in this very moment, they were happy. Sooah’s laughter, Byunghun’s and his own, echoed out over the empty city.

When they went inside, they’d eat freshly baked bread and read with Sooah by the light of some candles and the warmth from the heaters they hooked up. For now, they were safe. They were alive. Even if they were very much alone, they had each other.


	5. Delirious

They'd been living in the guest house for almost three months. They'd cleared out most of the stores and flats in a half mile radius of the guest house. They'd turned the top floor into their living quarters, though the bathroom with the shower was on the floor below. They'd turned that floor into storage, the laundry room and basically a giant closet. In some ways, if Myungsu didn't think too hard about why they're there, it'd almost be fun.

But the reality of their situation became apparent toward at the beginning of the fourth month. Sooah was the first to get sick. Having been around sick people as the disease spread, Myungsu and Byunghun are convinced she's dying. Although her condition was unlike those who were sickened and she didn't seem to be wasting away, they couldn't seem to convince themselves otherwise. They fret but do little, until Sooah woke up screaming every hour one night.

"It's not the sickness." Myungsu said, finally. He'd found some sleeping pills in a pile of drugs they'd taken from a drug store a week earlier. He gave some to Sooah and she finally fell asleep, without her nightmares.

Byunghun agreed. "It's something else."

It wasn't the flu, they knew it couldn't be a disease like that. There was no one left to spread it but each other. It had to be something else. Myungsu left Byunghun with Sooah and ventured out. He walked further than before, slogging through the snow that had piled up on the empty and unused streets. Eventually he found a drugstore that didn't look like it had been raided. He filled his backpack with all kinds of medications and then returned.

"She has a fever." Byunghun said. "Or, at least she's awfully hot." He paused, and then looked away. "I don't feel all that well myself."

Myungsu set the bag on the table and rushed over to Byunghun. He couldn't lose them both. And yet they were both sick. Myungsu had gotten a thermometer from the drugstore and both Sooah and Byunghun had fevers that were much too high. Myungsu looked through all the medications he brought back, giving them fever reducers.

It seemed to take forever for their fevers to go down and even then, they'd both mumble in their sleep and even sometimes when they were awake. Myungsu tried to keep them hydrated, but he felt that he was on the verge of getting sick, too. A week passed, where the three of them just tried to survive. Eventually, though, Sooah's fever broke and she slept through the night and was eating regularly. The next day, Byunghun seemed to improve, too.

Apparently, Myungsu later learned, that was about the time the illness, whatever it was, took him over. He remembered little about what happened, except that he could see people who were long dead. Occasionally he'd wake up and think he was at home or in the hotel where he, and the other three, were held.

Byunghun would tell him later that his fever was so high that he and Sooah had to put him in a big tub they'd found and fill it was snow just to cool him off. His memories are fuzzy, until he woke up one day to find Sooah curled in his arms and Byunghun, sitting in bed next to him, reading.

"It was the pasta." Byunghun said, after Myungsu showered and while he ate soup that Byunghun had reheated for him. "Food poisoning, I think." He added, filling Myungsu's mug with tea.

"How come it took longer to hit me?" Myungsu asked.

Byunghun shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you were fighting it off while taking care of us." He held up a medical textbook. "One of the flats in the building nearby had a bunch of these."

Myungsu tried to argue with Byunghun, but even he couldn't find any other reasonable explanations. And then he remembered that he hadn't eaten as much pasta as the other two, until he was taking care of them. He remembered now that he hadn't even cooked it, he'd eaten it straight from the can. He tried not to think about what almost happened to them.

When he finally told Byunghun, he saw the same haunted look on Byunghun's face. Myungsu wanted to comfort him, but he could barely comfort himself. He let Sooah and Byunghun take care of him for a few more days, until he began to feel better. It was then that they started checking all the dates on their food. They made more of an effort to be careful about what they consumed, not one of them wanted to go through this again.

A month later, when they were all relatively healthy again, Myungsu brought up a worry he had. About water and plastic bottles. The prospect of running out of water was something Myungsu thought about a lot and when he did, he had to fight off panic attacks.

One night, the last in February of that year, Myungsu realized about five different things all at once. He looked over at Byunghun, who is asleep and then at Sooah, in a bed near theirs, also asleep. He got up and walked out of the room, he needed to think, he needed space. He stood in the kitchen, looking out over Seoul. It's dark, there hadn't been electricity for months.

In their guest house, they'd rigged up car batteries and generators, there was plenty of both -- and fuel. There was no shortage of either. What they didn't have is enough food or water, or they'd run out of both and they couldn't keep foraging for them. Myungsu knew what had to be done and he didn't want to think about it.

He spent the whole night thinking about the fact that they're going to have to move, that the life they've created in the guest house is only temporary. He didn't sleep at all and when Byunghun found him the next morning, Myungsu pretended everything was fine. He wasn't ready for the conversation he had to have, with both Byunghun and Sooah. And, really, he wasn't ready for the truth himself, either.


	6. Numb

The secret weighed on Myungsu like an anchor dragging him to the depths of the Han River. He was scared of what he'd been thinking and no matter how hard he tried to push it away, it always wormed it's way into his mind. The fear of Byunghun and Sooah getting sick again, the fear of losing them, the fear of having to move from the guest house, the fear of running out of food, out of water … they coursed through Myungsu's veins like a drug. 

If he forced himself, he could function properly. He could go with Byunghun and Sooah as they foraged. He could fix dinner, do the laundry and clean. In fact, he preferred the cleaning and the laundry because he could focus on them. 

He spent the rest of the time trying to numb his feelings for the inevitable hardships that will befall them. He didn't want to, but found it far easier to stop feeling things than it was to let himself feel them. It worked for a month. In March, they went outside again in the false spring, they made plans, they talked about the garden Myungsu wanted to make. 

Myungsu did his best to feign interest and it worked. At least, he thought it worked, until one day Sooah yelled at him and then stomped off, as seven year olds are wont to do, to the room that was full of her books and plushies. She yelled that she hated him and she wished her parents had lived and Myungsu had died. 

He watched as Byunghun ran after her, comforting her. Myungsu wanted to be upset and hurt, but he found that he had no feelings. He'd pushed them all so far down inside of him that they refused to come up. He sat on the edge of the roof, the ledge, and contemplated, not for the first time but actually seriously, taking his own life. It was only Byunghun's voice, calling his name, that stopped him from slipping off the roof. 

"Myungsu!" There was a frantic note in Byunghun's voice. 

He felt Byunghun's hands on his shoulders, pulling him off the ledge. They collapsed backward onto the roof. Myungsu struggled away from Byunghun, or at least tried to but Byunghun wouldn't let him go. They lay there, on the roof under the warm March sun, in silence for a long time. 

"Myungsu." Byunghun finally said again. 

Myungsu didn't answer. 

"You have to stop." Byunghun's voice was sharp and harsh and it cut through Myungsu. 

He jerked back, away, and this time Byunghun didn't stop him. "I …" Myungsu started, but then stopped. Instead of turned to look at Byunghun, Myungsu turned away, toward the city. 

He heard Byunghun get up, knew he was walking toward him, and he braced himself, though what for, Myungsu didn't know. But Byunghun just wrapped his arms around Myungsu's shoulders, holding onto him. 

"We cannot lose you." Byunghun whispered the words into Myungsu's ear, his breath hot against his skin. 

Myungsu shivered, but refused to turn around. "We …" He stopped talking, he felt the tears slide down his face. He let out a strangled sob before he could stop himself. 

Byunghun let go, turned Myungsu around and then pulled him into an embrace. A hug. Bodily contact. Sure, Myungsu knew they slept together every night. Or most nights. And then he remembered how he hadn't been sharing a bed with Byunghun. They would start out in bed together, but then Myungsu would escape to the kitchen and curl up in one of the big chairs by the windows and wake up that way in the morning. 

It was like Byunghun's touch freed all of the emotions that Myungsu had been hiding. He broke down, tears sliding unceasingly down his face. Byunghun just held him, letting him cry. Myungsu didn't know how long they were up there, alone. Really alone, without Sooah and with the silence of empty Seoul. 

Eventually the tears stopped and Myungsu pulled himself together. And then, because he had no other choice, he told Byunghun his fears. All of them. He started from the beginning, with the fact that they are going to run out of water one of these days. He moved onto to food and shelter, onto the fact that they couldn't stay at the guest house forever. 

He didn't tell Byunghun that he wanted him, that he needed him, that he thought maybe he was falling in love. Those were emotions he wasn't ready to handle. It had already taken so much for him to even express these fears to Byunghun, having to tell him how he really felt would've been a step too far. 

Byunghun didn't notice Myungsu's reluctance, or if he did, he didn't mention it. Instead, he sat them on the chairs they dragged up to the roof, before the snow came, and they came up with plans. Nothing concrete, but it helped. It reminded Myungsu that he didn't have to do any of this alone. 

That's how Sooah found them later, sitting in quiet conversation on the roof. She apologized, to both of them, then crawled into Myungsu's lap. He looked over at Byunghun and felt the tears start to slip down his face. Byunghun got up, walked over to him, and gently brushed the tears away. 

Myungsu knew he wanted more and he pushed those feelings away. Instead, he enjoyed the feel of Byunghun's fingers against his face, then hands on his shoulders. They watched the afternoon slide into evening, the three of them, and Myungsu felt his heart start to ache again. But this time, he didn't push it away, instead, he embraced it.


	7. Need

Life became easier, in a way, after Myungsu broke down in front of Byunghun. They talked openly about their fears, even with Sooah. She listened, came up with ideas, and eventually suggested they find a map of Seoul. In the lobby of the guest house, Myungsu found a series of maps. Most of them were geared toward tourists and Myungsu idly wondered if Seoul would ever serve tourists again -- or if the whole world was as empty as Seoul. 

He brought them upstairs, after he'd cleared out another 7-11. He knew their time at the guesthouse was drawing to a close, and he knew both Sooah and Byunghun shared this opinion. He was relieved, he thought as he climbed the stairs to their home, that he could share his thoughts now. He'd hated, though he hadn't realized it at the time, keeping them inside. Not being alone changed everything. 

They pour over the maps, studying different places to live. It's harder than Myungsu expected, because they don't have transportation. Byunghun suggested they use a car, there are plenty around that have batteries that haven't been scavenged yet. But it is Sooah who came up with the best place for them to move to, or at least a starting point. 

"The river." She said, pointing at the Han River on the map they have spread out on the table. 

Myungsu and Byunghun had exchanged glances and Myungsu swore he saw a grin creep across Byunghun's face. He wondered why neither of them had thought about the river before. Myungsu began mentally ticking off things they'd need when Byunghun reached across the table and touched Myungsu's hand. 

"Hey." He said, softly. 

Myungsu blinked a few times, bringing himself back to the present. He saw Sooah and Byunghun watching him and then he remembered the night on the roof. 

"Sooah, can you get the whiteboard?" He asked, softly. She pushed her chair out and ran into the other room. While she was digging for the whiteboard and pens, Byunghun's hand curled around Myungsu's, just for a moment. He said nothing, though. Neither of them did. 

Sooah returned shortly and with her return. Byunghun pulled his hand away. Myungsu felt a piece of him disappear with it. He swallowed his feelings and looked down at the girl. She'd set the whiteboard on the table and then looked up at him. 

Myungsu picked her up, sitting her on his lap and then began writing a list.

> vehicle  
>  fuel  
>  water filtration system  
>  boxes  
>  food

He stopped and looked over at Byunghun, who was watching him. Sooah was sounding the words out carefully and Myungsu absently stroked her hair. She was old enough to read properly, but both he and Byunghun had been growing lax. That needed to change.

"That's not all we need." Byunghun said, finally breaking the silence. 

Sooah looked up at him and then scribbled toys on the list, making both Byunghun and Myungsu laugh. 

"We'll have to go look." Myungsu said, quietly. 

He knew what the river was like, there weren't any houses along it. Sometimes there were resorts or parks, but it would be impossible to live there. They needed to live higher off the ground, not that Myungsu really knew what they were hiding from, wild animals maybe? Survivors? Surely there were more than the three of them. 

With a frown, he shook his head, clearing it, and then gently moved Sooah off his lap, leaving her at the table with the whiteboard. He turned to the kitchen and began preparing their meal. He felt Byunghun next to him and looked over. 

"If we lived near the river," Byunghun started, softly, just low enough for Myungsu to hear over Sooah's humming, "that garden …" He trailed off. 

Myungsu nodded. It would be easier to grow food when there was water nearby. Granted, Myungsu thought, they didn't know what the weather was going to be like. It didn't matter, they had to try. 

"I know." Myungsu said and then both men were interrupted by Sooah, showing them her drawing. 

They spent a lot of time looking at maps. Byunghun and Sooah had found a travel agency and raided all their maps of Seoul, some were helpful and some were not. But Myungsu realized that they were going to have to find a car sooner, rather than later, and drive along the roads near the river. 

A few days later, toward the end of March, Myungsu realized that they'd missed his birthday. And then, much to his surprise, he realized they'd missed Byunghun's birthday, Christmas, New Year's and Sooah's birthday. He wondered what they should celebrate instead, being alive? Freedom from the hotel? All he knew, though, was that they'd been freed in October. 

Byunghun had done a some math, or something, and figured out which day, but Myungsu couldn't remember the date. He'd have to ask. He finished the dishes already and was on his way to read to Sooah, when Byunghun walked out of the room. 

"She's asleep." He said, softly. 

"Already?" 

"We wore her out." Byunghun said with a slight smile. 

It had snowed again, briefly, but then the weather turned warm and the three of them had found some balls in someone's house and had spent time on the roof, seeing how far they could throw them. Luckily they hadn't broken any windows, but it had been fun. 

Myungsu smiled, glad she'd fallen asleep quickly, sometimes it was hard for them to sleep. Too much quiet. When they moved, Myungsu was going to try to find a way to combat that. All the silence made the loneliness that much worse. 

Myungsu glanced at Byunghun and walked toward the window. Darkness was falling on Seoul, as it did every night. But it was taking longer and longer, soon spring would arrive and they wouldn't be living here for much longer. It made Myungsu's heart ache a little. He swallowed and then felt Byunghun's hand on his lower back. 

He turned and Byunghun was close, achingly close. 

"Hyung." Byunghun whispered the word. Although Sooah called them oppa sometimes, he'd never used that word with Myungsu before. 

"Yeah?" Myungsu's reply was breathy and light, airy, like he felt. 

"I …" Byunghun started, then stopped, he began to pull away. 

Myungsu reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling Byunghun back to him, into his arms. "I'm not much," Myungsu started, "but …" 

Byunghun cut him off with a kiss. The kiss they'd both been waiting for. Byunghun's mouth was hot on his, insistent and needy. It echoed all the ways that Myungsu felt. He opened his mouth against Byunghun, pulling him closer as they kissed. When they finally pulled apart, they were both breathless.

"We can't, not here." Myungsu whispered, gesturing toward the makeshift bedroom. 

Wordlessly, Byunghun slid his hand into Myungsu's and they walked toward the door leading to the floor below, filled with empty beds. It was much darker on this level and Myungsu wished he'd brought a candle or a lantern. But it didn't matter, not really. He already knew what Byunghun looked like, they knew each other intimately without even having been together. 

Myungsu slid his hands under Byunghun's shirt, gently easing it off. They undressed each other without speaking, barely breathing. It was almost as if they spoke, the spell would be broken. They'd have to talk about this later, they'd have to talk about their relationship to Sooah later, too. Myungsu didn't know what she'd think, but sort of hoped she wouldn't care. But right now, all he could focus on was the feel of Byunghun's skin under his fingers, the taste of his mouth, the scent of his hair, his body. 

They picked a bed in the middle of the room, away from the windows and doors, but within sight and hearing of the door, in case Sooah woke up and was scared to be all alone. For a moment all they did was sit awkwardly on the bed next to each other. Myungsu reached out and ran his hand down Byunghun's chest, then he grabbed Byunghun's hand and pressed it against his own heart. He looked down at his chest, Byunghun's hand and then back up. 

"Do you want this?" His voice was loud in the silence of the room, even though he was whispering. 

"I do." Byunghun's voice was equally loud and quiet. "Do you?" 

"I do." Myungsu whispered and it sounded like vows, maybe it was. "I've never … with …" He trailed off. He hadn't even known he could want a man until Byunghun. 

"Hyung." Byunghun's voice was even softer now. "Me either." He whispered. 

For a moment it seemed like Byunghun was going to say something else, then he stopped. Myungsu leaned to him, finding his mouth with his own and kissing him, gently at first, then harder. 

Byunghun pushed him onto his back, crawling on top of him. They slid against each other, shifting from slow to desperate in a matter of moments. Byunghun was hot above him, slick with sweat and his kisses felt like fire. Myungsu hooked a leg around one of Byunghun's bringing him down hard, their bodies pressed against each other. Myungsu was close, too wrapped up in the feel of Byunghun on top of him, against him, shifting and moving with him, to think about what he was doing. He came, making a gasping, strangled sound. Byunghun came almost as soon as Myungsu did, whimpering a little. 

They lay on the bed, sweaty and breathless, the only sound in the room, in the world, their labored breathing. Myungsu's leg dropped down, against the bed, and his arms slid around Byunghun, holding him close. They didn't move for a long time, but when Myungsu felt himself starting to drift off, he forced himself to move. 

"We need to go back upstairs." He murmured. 

Byunghun nodded, which Myungsu felt, rather than saw. Then he slid off the bed. He stood, naked in the moonlight filtering in the windows. Myungsu thought about what they'd done as he looked at Byunghun's body. It was beautiful, Myungsu thought. He was beautiful. He took Byunghun's hand and let himself be led to the shower. 

They showered together, sharing the tiny stall, without talking. Occasionally he'd press his mouth against Byunghun's shoulder, the back of his neck and sometimes they'd just kiss under the spray. It took too long, their shower, but Myungsu never wanted to be away from Byunghun and once they were dry, the way Byunghun held onto him, Myungsu knew he felt the same. 

Once upstairs, they slid into bed together, more comfortable than ever. It was as if all the personal space that once kept them apart no longer existed. Myungsu found Byunghun in his arms and he never wanted to let go, not now and not ever. Byunghun shifted closer, twisting their bodies together. 

Tomorrow they'd talk about this, they'd figure out what their lives had become to each other. But that would come later. Their relationship had changed irrevocably and Myungsu was not inclined to fight it. And later, after they decided who they were to each other (everything) and who they were to Sooah (Myungsu-appa and Byunghun-appa), Myungsu knew this was the right thing. It wasn't the only choice, there were so many, but it was the right one. They needed each other, the three of them, the two of them, all of them.


	8. River

It took almost all of March before Myungsu and Byunghun could convince themselves to steal a car. Technically, Myungsu argued, they weren't stealing. No, Byunghun had countered, they were just taking it, which was stealing. The arguments were basically pointless because the owners of the cars were most likely dead. There were no police and therefore no one to hold them accountable for their actions. And yet both Myungsu and Byunghun were uncomfortable with the idea of just taking the car.

In the end, it was Sooah who spurred them into action.

"Myungsu-appa," she'd said, "when are you going to start your garden?" He'd looked at her, his heart fluttering with joy he'd forgotten existed whenever she called him appa, and then he realized her question. They'd talked about the river, Sooah had come up with the idea in the first place, and yet a week had passed and they were still arguing and it was almost April.

"I ..." Myungsu had started, then looked over at Byunghun.

After they'd finally sorted out their feelings for each other, they'd had a long talk with Sooah, which resulted in her calling them both appa. They'd spent the next few days writing up everything they remembered of their families, their past lives, in the world that no longer existed. Byunghun had found a safe in a store, unlocked it and put their journals in it and once the lock clicked into place, they became a new family.

"We need a car." Byunghun finally said, which Myungsu had been thinking.

"Tomorrow." Myungsu replied, looking outside. It was late afternoon, there was no reason to go out car hunting when it was getting dark.

That night, curled up in bed around each other, long after Sooah had gone to bed, they talked about what they would do. They needed a vehicle, of course, but what type was causing a disagreement. Myungsu wanted a minivan, Byunghun a truck and they tossed ideas back and forth, long after they should've been asleep. In the morning, Myungsu suggested that because they were just going to be driving around, a normal car would probably suffice, they could argue later about what type of vehicle to use for moving when the time came to move.

After breakfast and showers in the now frequently cold water, they set out. Myungsu carried Sooah as they walked down the street, looking for a suitable car. It didn't take long. There was a car in front of a squat building full of flats. They split up to look for keys. Myungsu and Sooah found them first and waiting for Byunghun to join them.

The car wasn't fancy, but it was comfortable and compact. Myungsu took a breath and attempted to turn the engine on. It sputtered and then came to life with a gentle purr. The gas tank was full, which made Myungsu feel relieved. Neither of them were sure they could pump gas without electricity, though Myungsu knew they'd probably have to figure it out eventually. They'd been siphoning fuel for their generators from cars in their neighborhood, having stayed away from gas stations.

Myungsu pulled out, instinctively looking for traffic that didn't exist. He drove the speed limit, he found he wasn't even tempted to speed. The creepiness that came with walking down quiet, empty streets was something they'd all grown used to. The empty roads brought all the eeriness and unease racing back. Myungsu noticed the car had GPS and turned it on, he was surprised that it got a signal.

"Huh." Byunghun said, leaning over to look at the GPS unit.

"Satellites keep running until they don't?" Myungsu offered with a slight shrug as he stopped at a stop sign.

"Solar power." Sooah said, as Myungsu was trying to decide which way to turn.

He looked in the rear-view mirror at her as Byunghun looked over his shoulder into the backseat. Sooah was grinning as she held up a science book she'd been reading. It said "Space" in big letters across the front. Myungsu felt a surge of pride and as he looked over at Byunghun, he saw a grin on his face, too.

"They'll just keep running until the sun stops?" Byunghun asked.

Sooah nodded and launched into an explanation that Myungsu half listened to. He turned left, heading toward the water. The GPS followed his route as he drove toward the Han River. He saw an entrance for the expressway, heading toward the river, and pulled onto it. Here they finally encountered a few abandoned cars. As Myungsu drove, he looked into them, but saw no bodies. Perhaps they'd been there before the disease struck, perhaps not. Myungsu didn't want to know.

Sooah chatted with Byunghun while Myungsu drove. It didn't take them long to reach the river. Myungsu continued on the expressway, driving along the river, through Gangnam for about ten minutes before stopped. Sooah and Byunghun stopped talking and looked at Myungsu.

"There's nothing here but highrise flats and no way to the water." Myungsu said with a sigh.

"Try the other direction?" Byunghun suggested.

Myungsu found an exit, took it and then took the ramp back to the expressway in the other direction. This time, he drove them along the river away from Gangnam. They encountered more of the same, until they got off the expressway and ended up in Yeouido Hangang Park.

Myungsu parked in the virtually empty parking lot and they got out, walking around. Sooah went running through the grass toward the river, but Myungsu and Byunghun looked back toward the city. Byunghun reached out and slid his hand into Myungsu's.

"This isn't going to work." He said.

Myungsu looked over at him. "It's still too ..." He stopped, gesturing toward the all the buildings.

"Big. Expansive. We can't live that high without elevators." Byunghun finished for him.

Myungsu knew they could, they could walk and the three of them were in decent shape. But living in empty skyscrapers was on their list of things not to do. Plus, Myungsu didn't like the idea of having a garden on the roof of a very, very tall building.

"We need something smaller." He turned, pulling Byunghun to him and wrapping an arm around his waist. "We could try across the river."

They both turned, looking toward the river, then at the bridge. Myungsu felt Byunghun's arms slide around him, tightening. It wasn't as if anything would be different across the river, there would still be no people, but it wouldn't be Gangnam, with it's tall buildings and empty multiple lane roads.

"All right." Byunghun said after a moment or two of thought.

Myungsu waved for Sooah to come back and after she did, they got back into the car and made their way to the bridge. The river looked vast as they drove across it. Myungsu was uncertain what they'll find when they finally reached the other side. He could see the buildings, he'd probably been there, but at the same time it felt new. He listened, as he drove, to Byunghun making up a story of a knight who crosses a river to rescue his princess.

As they approached the first exit, Myungsu slowed, then decided to get off. Even if they didn't find anything, they'd have a nice drive along the river. Myungsu drove on the empty expressway, while Byunghun and Sooah stared out the window. They could see skyscrapers across the river and Myungsu, too, could believe, for the briefest of moments, that perhaps it was still populated. Of course, they all knew better.

To his left, Myungsu saw apartment buildings, they look too tall. Too much like what's across the river and though there was a park on the right, Myungsu kept driving. They crossed over part of the river again, under bridges and leave the skyscrapers behind them. They drove through another park, Myungsu thought, and then the buildings changed. They were tall, but not as tall and they seem more residential than commercial. Myungsu looked at his GPS, trying to decide when to exit.

They crossed bridge after bridge and then Myungsu saw a sign for Ttukseom Hangang Park. Without knowing why, maybe because they could all use a break, he took the exit for the park. They've been in the car for almost forty five minutes for a trip he imagined would've taken much less time, had Myungsu been going the speed limit. The exit led them into the park, but to the left was a tunnel under the road. Myungsu took it and as he exited the tunnel, he slowed the car to a stop.

"Here." Myungsu breathed the word out. He glanced over at Byunghun, who was staring out the window. "This is what we've been looking for."


	9. Sunset

The place they find to live is down a side street. It is a ten minute walk from the house to the river, which is more than reasonable, especially when Myungsu factors in hooking up a cart to the back of a bike and the secluded nature of their newfound home. 

At first, all three of them are apprehensive. Myungsu is won over easily, he was inclined to like the house for numerous reasons, including the fact that it has two levels and a balcony of sorts on the upper level. Myungsu is already envisioning the food they can grow there. 

Byunghun is more reluctant. Myungsu can feel his urge to protest sitting in his chest. Myungsu leans over and kisses his boyfriend, for that's how he thinks of him now, trying to alleviate the stress with distraction. It only partially works. 

Sooah, on the other hand, is harder to win over. Though she was initially reluctant to move from the guesthouse, she had fallen in love with some of the taller buildings they'd driven past in their initial pass through the area. Myungsu and Byunghun had both explained to her the problems of living in a taller building, but she was hung up on the idea of being able to see a lot. 

Both men eventually promised they'd take her to the top of some of the buildings. And then, once they agreed to look inside, they'd all been won over easily. While the outside seemed nice enough, the inside was spotless, though dusty. The first walk through provided no dead bodies or rotten food, whoever lived there had either died elsewhere or left before the disease struck. 

The house had two floors, separated into two units, each with two bedrooms. Myungsu suggested that, similarly to the guesthouse, they live on the upper level and use the bottom level for storage. They explored both levels, leaving Sooah upstairs, Byunghun was inclined to agree. 

"I think," Byunghun began, "this is where the two floors used to connect." Byunghun pointed to a door that seemed to lead nowhere. 

After they managed to get it open, the found a staircase which led upstairs. The door opened into the main living area and they startled Sooah, who was sitting on the floor, playing with the stuffed bunny she'd brought along. 

"Appas!" She cried, excitedly. 

Sooah showed them their rooms, the bigger one, she said, was for her appas, the smaller one was hers. Myungsu felt Byunghun's hand in his as they followed her around the flat. 

Myungsu could already see how they would change the house, he couldn't help forming plans. The first step, though, would be to clean this place out. He had almost started planning when he realized that he needed to share this. He picked up Sooah and her bunny and then took Byunghun's hand, leading them outside. 

Just before he stepped out, he saw keys on a hook by the door. He grabbed them, handing them to Byunghun, then they walked outside. The sun was shining, it was mid-afternoon. Soon they'd need food, which they'd brought with them. 

"Sooah," Myungsu said, softly, "do you want to live here?" 

Sooah nodded, leaning over and kissing Myungsu's cheek. "Yes, Myungsu-appa. Do you and Byunghun-appa want to live here?" 

Byunghun reached out and fluffed her hair and replied with a smile, "we do, Sooah. We do." 

That settled, Myungsu suggested they eat lunch before doing anything else. They sat on chairs, lining the porch on the first floor, eating in silence. They could hear birds, the faint sounds of the river and the far off barking of dogs. Myungsu had wondered about people's pets. He knew that the disease killed some of them, but many would die for other reasons, or not die at all. 

Eventually they finished and Byunghun produced a pencil and notebook. Myungsu began listing everything they needed to do before they move in. 

"We need to empty out everything from the house we don't want." He started, explaining that they could dispose of things in nearby houses, which unsettled him, but at the same time, there was no where else to put their waste. And when the bathrooms stopped working … Myungsu's thoughts trailed off before he could say something out loud. 

Byunghun reached out and rubbed his fingers against the back of Myungsu's neck, as though knowing he needed comfort at that moment. Maybe it was written on his face, maybe they'd just become so close over the past few months, and especially recently, that they just knew. Myungsu cleared his throat and went on. 

"Sooah, I know you want to visit those buildings, we can and see if there is anything we need." Myungsu continued, explaining they could also look for stores that sold furniture, which he'd rather do, but did not say the latter part. 

They did not start cleaning that day. Instead, they went back to the guesthouse, which was a much quicker trip than their roundabout way. In the GPS in the car, Myungsu labeled the new place 'home' and as they left, he found he was ready to be moved in. He liked the guesthouse, but the neighborhood they decided to move into felt much more comfortable, even though they hadn't spent a night there. 

It was halfway through April by the time they'd finished cleaning the house. Myungsu had ditched car when it ran out of gas, taking the navigation system with him when he claimed an SUV. The SUV, though, wasn't always big enough to transport the things they wanted, which mean Byunghun got his truck, with his own nav system. Sometimes Sooah road with Myungsu, sometimes she road with Byunghun. They'd also found some walkie-talkies when they went back to the sporting goods store in the mall. They'd gotten other stuff, too, filling the back of the SUV with clothing, bedding, dishware and other essentials that Myungsu had never realized they'd needed. 

The problem, he and Byunghun discussed after Sooah had gone to sleep, was that the guesthouse had provided almost everything they needed. But now that they were starting basically from scratch and they had to get everything new. Some things, of course, they took with them. Sooah's books, her plushies and all of her clothes. Myungsu and Byunghun had less, but not by much. They took what remained of their food, some of the dishes, the generators and whatever car batteries still had juice in them. They left some, though not all, of their clothes, and all the books, the safe with their history in it, along with board games they've found, came with them. 

Byunghun took over the lower level, reading from books he'd picked up at a bookstore and built shelves for storing food. Myungsu working on rigging up a hand washing system for both their clothes and their dishes, though not in the same location. Sooah helped him string up rope on the lower deck to hang their clothing to dry. The house slowly began to take shape as the home the three of them had discussed. 

Sooah soon wanted to start sleeping there and neither Myungsu nor Byunghun were willing to say no. They used the parking lot of the building across the road for the SUV, truck and now gasless car, which Myungsu was loathe to part with, if only because he felt nostalgic toward the car. Byunghun never commented on it and Myungsu was grateful. 

It was the last week of April when they finally decided to spent their first night in the new home. They'd taken one of the bunk beds from the guesthouse with them. Between the two of them, Myungsu and Byunghun had managed to both disassemble and reassemble it without too much difficulty. 

A desire for safety, whether necessary or not, had led them to this house. But it was luck that allowed them to pick the house with a gas stove. The one next door, which they'd briefly raided for a few items and left much of the house's original furniture in, was electric, as was the one on the other side. A gas stove meant that as long as the gas was flowing, which seemed to show no signs of stopping, they could cook, no generators needed. 

They cooked dinner with fresh herbs that Myungsu had found growing in the pots of a house a block over. He'd been looking for gardening supplies, there weren't any shops he could find, and stumbled upon someone's herb garden. With Sooah and Byunghun's help, they'd moved it all to their new home. It was flourishing now that there was someone to tend to it. 

Sooah was asleep on the bottom bunk, the top one full of most of her plushies, and Byunghun had finished the dishes. Myungsu was out on the deck, watering the herbs and looking out toward the river they couldn't see, which was just as well. It was so quiet, the only sound the quiet splash of water from the watering can he'd liberated and the clink of dishes inside. It was both peaceful and upsetting. In another world, another time, there would be children laughing, people walking and the sound of cars from the expressway. But there was nothing but silence. 

He heard the door open behind him, but didn't look over his shoulder. After a moment or two, he felt Byunghun's arms slide around him, head resting against Myungsu's shoulder. For a long time, neither of them moved, then Myungsu set the watering can down and shifting, pulling Byunghun into his arms. 

They stared at the sky as the sun began to set, dusk washing over them. In the silence, Myungsu could hear Byunghun's breathing, the sounds of wildlife, slowly invading the city. As they'd worked to create their home, Myungsu had seen evidence that nature was starting, though very slowly, to take over Seoul. Eventually things would crumble around them, Myungsu didn't know how long it would take, but imagined it would be long after the three of them had died. 

"Myungsu-hyung," Byunghun said softly, breathing the silence. 

"Yeah?" Myungsu turned his head slightly, pressing a kiss against the side of Byunghun's face. 

"Is this where we'll end?" The question was one that Myungsu had tried not to think about. He turned the words over in his head, then pulled back a little so he could look at Byunghun in the fading light. 

"I don't know." He went for honesty. He'd learned in the few months they'd been together, that honesty was always the right choice. "It could be." 

"Or?" Byunghun prompted, though it was clear to Myungsu that he probably had his own answers, but was waiting for Myungsu to voice his own. 

"Or maybe someone will find us or we'll find them. But …" Myungsu trailed off and then framed Byunghun's face in his hands, leaning in and kissing him hard, Byunghun's mouth briefly opening against Myungsu's. "If it is, it's not a bad place to spend the rest of our lives."

He said it and it hurt to say it, but Byunghun was there, his mouth hot against Myungsu's. He was alive, they were both alive. Byunghun kissed him, deepening the kiss for a moment before pulling back a fraction. 

"It's not a bad place at all." He echoed Myungsu's words, then kissed him again, harder than before. 

It was dark now, there were no streetlights here. Myungsu had considered rigging up some sort of solar powered streetlights, but the books he had were hard enough to understand already. He wanted to put solar panels on the roof of their house and that was a far more important project. 

He let Byunghun pull him into their home, their first night in their new home. The bed was bigger, designed properly for two people instead of the bunks they slept in at the guesthouse. Later, as Byunghun lay sleeping his arms, Myungsu decided that he felt lucky. Since he was a survivor at the end of the world, at least he'd been able to find a family who loved him and who he loved in return.


	10. Family

Myungsu never expected his life to be easy, not before the disease and not after. His life hadn't been easy, before, but it hadn't been hard either. After he completed his enlistment, he'd worked in an office providing IT assistance for a rather large company. The office was located in Daejeon and he didn't travel to Seoul that much, except to see his parents and little brother. He knew they'd died because he'd said goodbye to them, when they'd first gotten sick. His brother, too, had died. Looking back, he hated that he hadn't spent more time with them, but there was really nothing he can do about that now.

He was happy in Daejeon. His job paid well, he had a nice flat, friends and he'd been thinking about maybe taking a friend up on her offer to set him up on blind dates. He hadn't known the world was going to end, but then again, who did? His work was demanding and sometimes he came home exhausted and mad at the world, but it wasn't difficult, not like his life now. Except, he thought as he was watering the plants on the balcony, life wasn't as hard as it could be.

The house they moved into the previous month looked more and more like a home that Myungsu had dreamed about having one day. It would've made his parents proud, Myungsu knew, in spite of the boyfriend and the daughter who wasn't theirs, but was in every way that really mattered. Unfortunately they weren't around to know, neither were Byunghun's parents. And Sooah's will never get to see her grow up.

Sometimes Myungsu let his thoughts wander too far and he'd get caught up in the past. He knew they all did it, though they didn't talk about it. Once in a while he'd stare at the safe and contemplate opening it. He could, neither Byunghun nor Sooah would judge him, but he didn't. Instead, he walked away, leaving the past where it belonged.

He finished his watering then turned, when he looked through the glass doors, he saw Sooah laughing at the table while Byunghun stood in front of the stove, cooking breakfast. He hadn't heard them get up, but the glass was good at muffling sounds. There were screen doors, but Myungsu had wanted a little privacy, in a way. Though sometimes all they had was privacy, there was no one else around, after all.

Sooah noticed him and waved, she's growing bigger every day. Myungsu wondered if they were ever going to find anyone else. He wondered what kind of life Byunghun and he were going to be able to give Sooah. They love her, as much as they love each other, but once she's a teenager … He thoughts trailed off and he felt the now-familiar ache of loss push through him and so he shoved it down, waving back at her.

It was almost June and there weren't any clouds in the sky, it'd be a hot and lovely day. But that was for later. Myungsu went inside and joined his family as they planned what they're going to do. Every day was the same, in a way, breakfast together, then a discussion of their plans for the day, lunch together, usually, and then during the hottest part of the day, they'd take turns studying with Sooah. Dinner, usually on the tiny table on the balcony when the weather's nice, and then they take a walk around the neighborhood, sometimes to the park.

In the beginning, after they'd finally moved everything from the guesthouse to their new home, they'd been too busy to enjoy the neighborhood. Myungsu and Byunghun would be up late, making the lower level into suitable storage. During the day Sooah would usually entertain herself near whichever one of them was home or the least busy. Sometimes it was Byunghun, reading up on home improvement projects while Myungsu destroyed the parts of the patio by the fence. He planted trees, things he and Byunghun had liberated from a greenhouse they'd discovered on one of their longer trips outside the center of Seoul.

Sometimes Myungsu wondered what they were so afraid of that they were both willing to plant trees and shrubs to keep the non-existent prying eyes from finding them. He never found an answer and Byunghun hadn't had one either, but they continued to operate under the assumption that, at some point, they were going to come across other people, other survivors. The chances of them truly being the only ones in Korea were slim to none. And yet it had been only nine months since they'd seen other living, breathing people, aside from themselves. And it was over a year since the disease hit.

Myungsu made himself focus on other things, saving these thoughts for late night talks with Byunghun, where they could make up stories to keep themselves company in the emptiness of a once thriving, bustling city.

The central focus of their attention was the installation solar panels. On one of their recent trips, they'd found a building with solar panels on the roof. With Sooah's help, they'd managed to acquire quite a lot of them. She passed them tools, kept them fed and watered and distracted them from the frustrations they felt. They'd managed to find some books at a library directing them how to install the panels on their own roof and between the two of them, with Sooah attempting to read the instructions, they'd covered their roof, and the two neighboring houses, with solar panels.

They'd hit a roadblock, though, when it came to hooking them up. The library they'd been going to lacked adequate books on wiring, so the project was put on hold until better books could be acquired. But the project had taken up much of May and Myungsu hoped that by mid-June they'd be able to find books to help them hook up electricity. His primary concern was running the small refrigerator and keeping them warm in the winter. It might even help heat water, and both Myungsu and Byunghun knew the real reason they moved so close to the Han River was water.

The next project, after the solar panels were working, was a way to make sure the water they got from the river was safe to drink. They'd acquired, in their travels around Seoul, equipment to help them purify water, it, too, needed power, which was an added reason for getting electricity working. Generators could only do so much and they had to plan for a future when the gas no longer flowed. They would be ready, at least Myungsu hoped. Unlike thinking about the far future, these questions no longer stressed Myungsu out. Maybe it was because he had Byunghun to talk things out with or it was because this was the way their life was now, whatever the reason, he was glad they didn't stress him out.

Overall, he thought one afternoon, they were doing pretty well. The garden he was working on, after taking down some of the roof that blocked the sun, was taking shape. It would probably be a few more months before any of the vegetables he planted started to bear fruit, but they were growing and that was what mattered. Even Sooah was entranced by them. She'd helped him plant and helped him water, too.

They used water from the river, carrying it in barrels stored in a wagon they'd taken from someone's front garden. They'd attached it to a bike and would pedal once every couple of days through the park to the water and then back again. It was a good system. Sometimes Sooah went with him, sometimes he went alone and sometimes Byunghun went by himself. Occasionally all three of them went together.

Sooner, Myungsu thought, rather than later, the water they got would be used for more than just watering the plants. But that was a reality he wasn't ready to face yet, and really, they had plans, it would just be a matter of implementing them when the time came. Instead, he planned with Byunghun and Sooah and focused on other things. 

On the lower level, along with the room they used for washing clothes, Byunghun had built a storage area for food and water and a third room, the workroom. Inside, both Myungsu and Byunghun stored projects for a later date. Myungsu had left the TV on the wall in the main living area, but removed the DVDs and player that had remained. But he kept them, along with a stereo he'd found in a nearby house, and CDs he picked up as he went along. He missed music, his missed it a lot. 

Sometimes he would sing for Byunghun and Sooah, other times they'd all sing together, children's songs they remembered, songs that Sooah taught them. But Myungsu missed the music that came out of speakers, music that didn't exist anymore. He was saving these electronics for the day that got electricity going in their tiny home. He could easily use the generators, but it made more sense to save them for emergencies, in case the solar power didn't work. 

One evening, after Byunghun had tucked Sooah into bed and was sitting on the edge of her bed, reading to her, Myungsu leaned against the doorway, watching. This was his family now. He felt that he was happy, it spread through him, like warm sun after a cloudy day. It filled him, falling into holes he hadn't even known he had. He knew it wouldn't fill all the voids that made him the man he was, it would never replace the loss of his parents, his brother, his coworkers. Just like he couldn't do the same for Sooah or Byunghun. And yet … he felt a faint smile on his lips, he'd helped create this, a family. Full of love and life, beating the odds, whatever they were now. 

Byunghun looked up just then, as if he could read Myungsu's thoughts, looked over and saw him standing just in the room. Sooah followed Byunghun's gaze and they both gestured for him to join them. Myungsu sat on the other side of the bed, letting Sooah crawl into his arms, and listened to Byunghun read to them both. Their life wasn't perfect and it wasn't going to get easier, but it wasn't bad. In fact, Myungsu thought, it was rather good. He kissed the top of Sooah's head, the girl who he thought of as his child now, the child he shared with the man across from him. He was happy and he knew Sooah and Byunghun were happy, too.


	11. Cry

Sometimes things work out perfectly. They’ve had their share of ups and downs, sometimes just sleeping through the night proves to be harder than making it through the day. At least once a week, Myungsu will wake up long before dawn to find Sooah wedged between Byunghun and himself. He never minds, how could he? He knows she has nightmares. At some point he knows he and Byunghun are going to have to talk about what happened in the hotel, both to them and to her.

But for now they settle for not talking about it. It's not healthy, but not one of them is ready. Instead, they accept the tears, the shouting, the nightmares – they ride them all out, together. This what they do to survive and it works, because it has to work, they have no other choice.

When Myungsu finds Sooah in bed with them, he'll wrap himself around her, as if to protect her from the world they've been left with. When Byunghun wakes up first and finds her, he does the same. It's an unspoken gesture, a parental instinct neither expected to have so soon in their lives. And yet, here it is.

One morning Myungsu wakes up to rain. It hasn't rained much, since they'd moved houses. They'd had mostly hot, sunny days, which was fine, they had a lot of outside work to do. The rain reminds Myungsu, though, that they're entering the rainy season. He holds Sooah in his arms as she sleeps, and then when she wakes, they leave Byunghun in bed and go out onto the screened in porch they've filled with comfortable furniture from a previously expensive furniture shop in Gangnam.

Myungsu makes himself tea and hot chocolate for Sooah. They sit on the overstuffed sofa, watching the rain. By the time Byunghun joins them, the rain has tapered off into a humid sunlight morning. It is then that Myungsu realizes that if they're going to get the solar panels hooked up, it'd be better to do it before the rainy season is in full swing.

Sooah goes with them as they embark on a trip to acquire information about hooking up their solar panels. After numerous failed attempts to local books at libraries and bookstores, Myungsu uses the GPS to take them to Seoul National University's Engineering Library. Like everywhere else in Seoul, there's no power and thus all the doors are open. Sooah, taking a walkie-talkie with her, leaves the boys to wander through the classrooms. Myungsu and Byunghun, though, sift through the library.

Byunghun complains, as he does wherever they go to a library, that he wished the card catalogs weren't on computers, but eventually they find the section they're looking for. There are plenty of books wiring and solar panels, but most of them are far beyond what either Byunghun or Myungsu can understand. After what feels like forever, and a break for lunch and to bring Sooah back to them, Myungsu finds a book. He thinks they can use it to hook up the panels, at least the explanations seem to make sense.

They load that book, and a few other engineering ones, into a bag and then they head back to their house. The weather is even more humid by the time they get home and Myungsu was glad the car had working air conditioning. Their SUV and truck do not. The car, though, they'd taken it from a lot a few blocks away from their house. Myungsu drops Byunghun and Sooah back at the house and returns the car to the lot it came from and then walks back. By the time he returns home, he's sweating.

It takes them two days, lots of arguments and more than a few tears before they manage to hook everything up. Both Myungsu and Byunghun explain to Sooah, both separately and later together, that they're not really mad at each other. Myungsu explains that the project is hard and it takes both of them, but they don't always agree. Byunghun tells Sooah that it's okay to fight, that sometimes you disagree but in the end things work out because you want them to. It soothes her, calming her tears as she curls up in their arms.

By the end of the second day, though, the rains have held off long enough that their makeshift solar panels work. They do not, as Myungsu had wanted to do, hook the house up to the panels. Instead, and this was the source of one of their arguments, Byunghun's idea had won out. He suggested they get new lights and other electronics and hook them up, instead of trying to navigate the house's original electrical system, after their blow out argument, Myungsu finally agreed.

It was the right choice. They strung up fairy lights in Sooah's room and the screened in porch. They found hanging lanterns and timers to act as nightlights. And a good portion of their work room on the lower level was filled with light bulbs. They still stockpiled batteries, lanterns and candles, alongside containers of fuel and their generators, but the solar panels lit the house and, hopefully, would power the water heater Byunghun had found at a hardware store on one of his solo outings.

They had a week of hot, humid weather with lots of sunlight. Byunghun hooked up the rest of the solar panels, those mounted on the neighbor's houses, to batteries he'd read about and then subsequently found, much to Myungsu's surprise. This, he explained to Myungsu and Sooah over dinner one night, was to store the electricity for the coming rainy season.

While Byunghun finishes his power collection, Myungsu takes Sooah to gather fuel to power their generators. They don't know how long the rainy season will last or how much the sun will be out, but they'll be prepared. They also gather barrels to store water in, spreading them along the road their house resides. Sooah has fun rolling the barrels down the road and for an afternoon, all Myungsu can hear is her laughter.

The rains start a few days later, they know this because it comes in sheets. They’ve stocked up on everything and, for now, the gas and plumbing are still functional. Myungsu can almost tell that this won't last and when he brings it up, Byunghun just agrees. They'll work out a plan, later, for now they just need to survive the rains.


	12. Rain

At the beginning, the rain was a steady but gentle background to their lives. Myungsu and Byunghun continued to explore, sometimes bringing Sooah, but sometimes not. She didn't leave the house without them and now that it rains most of the time, she didn't even go out into the tiny patio area without them. Mostly, she spent her time reading. Myungsu was desperate to find other things for her to do and when they stumbled upon a store that carried video games, he got an idea.

They've been collecting batteries of all sorts, in hopes that they'll continue to work for a long time. Myungsu wasn't clear on the shelf-life of batteries, but he'd be willing to bet that they could figure out a way to make them last. For what, he didn't know, but instinctively he thought they'd eventually need distractions. The store they found carried all sorts of portable video game accessories. Myungsu filled a duffel bag with batteries, three handhelds, and lots of games. He ignored the look Byunghun gave him, one of exasperation, but just shrugged.

"They'll come in handy." He murmured as they left the store.

It was still raining, but it seemed to be tapering off and Myungsu could see the sun through the clouds to their south. They walked along the street and Myungsu wished, a little, that Sooah was with them to fill the silence. But then Byunghun reached out and slid his hand into Myungsu's.

"I trust you." He said, softly, though it wasn't like there was anyone around to hear.

Myungsu stopped and turned, pulling Byunghun to him. He stepped in close, then kissed Byunghun. They stand like for how long Myungsu didn't know, but long enough that the rain completely stopped. They pulled apart then and continued walking, but they're close together, no distance between them.

As they were driving back to the house, Myungsu asked Byunghun to pull over. They went inside and discovered, much to Myungsu's delight, lots of car batteries. Myungsu searched for the equipment he needed and then they moved things around in the SUV in order to make room for all the batteries Myungsu wanted to bring back.

"In case the solar panels run out of power." Myungsu said once he and Byunghun were back in the car. He reached over and squeezed Byunghun's hand, as if to reassure him.

"They ..." Byunghun started, then stopped, looking down at their hands.

Myungsu bite the inside of his cheek for a moment before he spoke again. "I know they work, but we're in the rainy season and ..." He trailed off, the implication obvious. There wasn't enough sun and they haven't been up long enough, neither he nor Byunghun knew if the power they produce would last, or even if it's strong enough for what they needed.

By the time they returned to the house, it was raining again. Sooah was waiting for them on the lower level. She had the wagon waiting by the entrance, which she opened for them from the inside. Together, they loaded everything into the wagon, taking it inside before it could get too wet. Myungsu gave Byunghun the bag of video games, handhelds and accessories, then parked the car across the street. It was pouring by the time he returned and, even with his umbrella, he was soaking wet.

Sooah was upstairs and Myungsu could hear her puttering around in the kitchen. When he asked, Byunghun said she wanted to fix them hot chocolate. Myungsu couldn't keep the smile of his face, he was proud of her, how independent she was now, even though she won't be eight until the next year.

Byunghun wrapped him in a towel after he stripped out of his soaking wet clothes. Myungsu stepped in close, bridging the gap between them and gave his boyfriend a long, slow kiss, then stepped away again. He missed their closeness, though they're always touching each other, always within reach. It was just with all their preparations for the rainy season, they hadn't had any time to themselves. Byunghun traced a finger along Myungsu's jaw, before returning upstairs to help Sooah, leaving Myungsu to dress alone.

He could hear the rain through the walls, hitting the pavement of the patio in a steady rhythm. He couldn't help a little fear that crept up his spine before he could stop it. Just before he went back upstairs, he saw the duffel bag full of video games and grabbed it. He dropped it off in their bedroom before he joined Sooah and Byunghun. They were on the porch, watching the rain.

All of the sliding glass windows, and the door, had been closed, keeping the rain out. It pounded relentlessly on the roof, a drumbeat that would continue for how long, Myungsu didn't know. They'd found a large sectional couch and discovered it fit neatly on the porch, giving them just enough room to walk around to find a seat. Sooah was sprawled at the far end, hot chocolate on the floor, concentrating on the coloring book on the couch in front of her.

Byunghun had found a stationary store and cleaned it out of coloring books, crayons, markers and pens. They'd gone back later to pick up journals and other writing implements. The next piece of furniture on their list, one they hadn't found yet, was a desk. Byunghun wanted to go the Ikea, he'd found it on their GPS, but Myungsu thought it was too far away. They'd have this argument again, Myungsu knew, and he also guessed he'd probably give in. If they found another truck, with more gas in it, he'd probably agree to go. And he knew Sooah would love it.

Myungsu sat down next to Byunghun and curled up next to him. Byunghun handed him his hot chocolate before wrapping an arm around Myungsu's shoulder. They sat like that for a long time, watching the rain. It was only going to get worse, Myungsu knew. He'd lived in South Korea his whole life, he knew how the rainy season went. His primary worry was that now they had no way to know when a typhoon was coming. The previous year they'd all been in a hotel and Myungsu had no memories of storms or rain or really much of anything except fear.

Life was different now, the fear Myungsu felt was different, too. He set his mug down on the ledge of the window, an extra that he and Byunghun had installed for this exact reason. He shifted, pressing his face against Byunghun's neck, allowing himself a moment of weakness. Byunghun's arm went around him, holding him close. He felt Byunghun's lips against the top of his head, through his hair. He closed his eyes.

They weren't really safe, but relatively they were safe, all things considered, and they were together, which was what mattered the most. When Myungsu finally sat up, it had started to get dark and he knew this meant it was time to start on dinner and see if the solar power was still working. It was going to be a long two months.


	13. Scared

It's the crash of thunder that woke him. Byunghun slept on unaware, twisted in the blankets, one arm slung over Myungsu's chest. Myungsu shivered in the darkness, cold even though it's humid inside their house. He gently freed himself from Byunghun's grasp and slipped out of bed without waking his boyfriend. The house was dark, except when the lightening lit up the sky.

Myungsu made his way to the kitchen to get some water when he heard a noise from Sooah's room. He cracked the door open and found her huddled in the middle of her bed, shaking and gripping a tiger plushie. He could just hear her sobs between the crashes of thunder, he opened the door to enter and when she heard it, she turned, face streaked with tears.

His heart clenched in a way he'd never known was possible as he rushed to her. He crawled onto her bed and pulled her in his arms, stroking her hair. She cuddled close, tears sliding down her face. He murmured softly, words of comfort until he no longer knew what he was saying. His body rocked gently back and forth until Sooah was quiet, though not quite asleep, in his arms.

The storm raged on outside, Myungsu wished he knew more about typhoons. Even after the storm passed, he'd never know if it was a regular storm or a typhoon. It didn't really matter, though. They were dry and while the house rattled around them, it stood firm, along with all the buildings around it. He sat on Sooah's bed, holding her close for how long, he didn't know. But it was long enough that he heard Byunghun searching for him.

He turned and saw Byunghun in the doorway, looking tired and worried. Myungsu held out a hand, beckoning him to join them on her bed. He didn't know what time it was and Sooah's clock was just out of sight, but he didn't care. It wasn't as though they had to worry about the time. The bed dipped as Byunghun sat down next to Myungsu, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"The storm?" Byunghun whispered as he shifted until he could wrap himself around Myungsu.

"Probably nightmares, too." Myungsu replied. The time to talk about their nightmares was nearly upon them and with nowhere to escape to during the storms, they might never have a better chance.

Byunghun kissed the side of Myungsu's neck, resting his head on this shoulder.

The early morning hours passed by in crashes and claps of thunder. Rain seemed to pour endlessly from the sky, a low never ending sound on the solar panels and the roof itself. At some point, Byunghun pulled Myungsu and Sooah down until they were all curled up together on the bed. Myungsu fell asleep feeling safe, feeling loved and he hoped that Byunghun and Sooah felt the same.

When he woke again, a few hours later, Sooah was still sleeping. Myungsu shifted slightly and sat up. He found Byunghun watching him with a soft, fond smile on his face. He reached out and gently tugged Byunghun up until he was sitting. They kissed for a moment, then another, before pulling apartment. Myungsu looked outside, it was light, but the storm was lingering.

Before Myungsu could decide what to do, Sooah woke with a start. He saw her face start to crumble and then she turned and saw both Myungsu and Byunghun and her face changed, almost instantaneously. She crawling into Byunghun's arms, face pressed against his chest. Myungsu shifted again, pulling them both to him. He kissed Sooah's head and then Byunghun's forehead.

"Breakfast?" He asked softly.

Sooah nodded, he could feel her, and Byunghun grinned at him.

Myungsu made his way to the kitchen, turning on some of the lights that were attached to the solar panels. He was surprised, though pleased, when they worked. He didn't think they'd last much longer, but that's what the batteries were for. He hummed softly to himself as he lit the stove and began cooking noodles. Absently he wondered if they could raise livestock here, if they could even find any. He imagined maybe they could drive into rural parts and find chickens that were still alive. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that when Byunghun said his name, he jumped in surprise.

"Myungsu?" Byunghun asked.

Startled, Myungsu turned around, only to see both Byunghun and Sooah giggling a little. "Yes?" He asked, his voice sounded a bit higher than normal, making Sooah laugh more.

"What's on your mind?" Byunghun asked, which Myungsu was pretty sure wasn't his original question.

"Chickens." Myungsu said as he drained the water from the noodles and added in seasoning.

"Huh." Byunghun replied, slipping passed Myungsu, but stopping to give him a kiss.

Myungsu shrugged, returning the kiss and then picked up Sooah when she wanted to see what he was doing.

"Chickens?" She asked.

Myungsu nodded. "After it stops raining, we should take a trip outside the city, see if we can find some." Myungsu looked over at Byunghun as he said that and he watched as his boyfriend nodded thoughtfully to himself. Myungsu suppressed a grin then set Sooah down so he could serve breakfast.

They sat at the table, all the lights in the kitchen on, as they ate. Lightning flickered in the darkness of the storm, though it was mid-morning, but their own lights didn't. There was a warm glow in the kitchen and Myungsu knew they'd be okay, somehow.

They spent the day playing board games and reading. Sooah also spent an hour or two playing with her plushies on the porch, while Myungsu and Byunghun watched or read. They ate a late lunch and by early evening, while the rain hadn't stopped, the thunderstorm seemed to have moved on. It was warm and daylight lingered, even through the heavy rain clouds. Taking umbrellas, the three of them went outside. There were puddles everywhere and while Sooah jumped around in them, Myungsu and Byunghun went to check on the rain barrels.

There were ten of them and they were all full. It took them an hour to wheel all ten of them to the house and then get the remaining from where they were stored next door. The advantage, Myungsu thought, of not having neighbors is that you can use their homes for storage. Sometimes, when he was feeling down, he'd try to imagine how they could expand their house. He'd build covered walkways between his house and the two on neighboring sides. One of the houses could be used as a school for Sooah, the other a work space for Byunghun and himself.

He'd always shake himself free of the fantasies before they got too involved. He didn't know how long they were going to stay here, how they were even going to survive. They'd made it through one winter and could probably survive another, but would solar panels be enough? What would happen when the gas stopped working and the plumbing ceased to exist? He thought about the libraries they frequented. He would have to start making a list of all the things they would need to learn to keep living comfortably.

That night was calm, just rain and no storms. The next day was pleasant. It even stopped raining long enough for the three of them to make a trek to the river. It was swollen, but the part of the park closest to their home, to the tunnel underneath the expressway, didn't seem close to flooding. Myungsu didn't know if it would last, but he choose not to worry too much about it -- he couldn't control the water levels.

When they returned back home, before it started to rain again, Myungsu suggested moving everything important up off the floor level, just in case. Sooah had already gone upstairs, which Myungsu was grateful for, he didn't want to have to explain flooding just yet. He could hear her, singing to herself happily, and Myungsu turned to Byunghun.

"Nightmares." Myungsu said quietly.

Byunghun put away the last thing they'd decided to move and turned. "We all have them." He said.

Myungsu nodded. He reached out a hand and Byunghun took it, bringing them close together. "We need to talk about them."

Byunghun nodded. "Tonight. Then tomorrow we'll talk to Sooah, together."

Myungsu agreed with him. It would be better to deal with their pain first, then Sooah's. He led Byunghun lead him upstairs. They fixed dinner, played cards with Sooah before sending her off to bed. After they'd read her stories and turned off the lights, except for her nightlight, they returned to the porch to talk.

It started to storm as Byunghun brought them tea. He sat close to Myungsu, their bodies touching. The room was lit with candles and for the longest time, the only sound was the rain and the approaching thunderstorm, still far enough away that the thunder didn't seem entirely real. 

"I used to live in America." Byunghun said with a longing in his voice that made Myungsu turn. He saw a faraway look in Byunghun's eyes, but said nothing, just reached out and slid his hand into Byunghun's. "I lived there for five years. I came back for enlistment." He continued, staring out into the darkness and the rain. 

"My parents … they died in the US, when the disease …" He stopped, swallowed, and then went on. "My family … I was living on my own, had a ticket to go back to Oregon." He stopped again, glancing at Myungsu for a moment, then back away. "It was too late, my parents were already sick. And then …" 

Myungsu knew what happens next. The disease took hold in Korea and here they are. He sipped some of his tea and then gently pulled Byunghun to him, holding him close with one arm. He waited for Byunghun to continue. 

"I lived in the barracks, still. I'd only been out of the military for a couple of weeks, they let me stay because I had nowhere to go." Thunder interrupted him and then both looked out the window. After a moment Byunghun spoke again. "Everyone in the building got sick but me. It was the first wave. They took me to a hospital, but everyone died except the scientists. Then they took me to the hotel." He swallowed, his face pale now. "It was three months before you opened my door."

The rain intensified, thundering coming hard and fast now. Myungsu finished his tea and set it on the windowsill, next to Byunghun's now empty mug. Byunghun was looking at him, studying him. Myungsu reached out and cupped Byunghun's face in his hands and then kissed him, a soft and gentle contrast to the weather outside. 

"My nightmares are of the military, the tests they did." Byunghun said, quietly. His lips moved against Myungsu's as he spoke and then he turned his words into a kiss. 

They shifted then, Byunghun pulling Myungsu into his arms, holding him. Myungsu knew this was his cue, his turn to talk. He swallowed, fear clogging his throat. The storm was right over them, shaking their house, rattling the windows with every crash. There were no sounds from Sooah's room. Myungsu knew they'd check on her, before they went to bed. If she needed them, they're within sight of her door. He breathed in, then out. 

"My parents died in the first wave, here in Seoul. I lived in Daejeon, in a flat. I worked in IT." He stopped, thinking about his old flat. "I didn't know anything was wrong, at first. I had enough food to last me a week. The second week I went out. The third week ... " He trailed off, fear traveling through him to the beat of the rain on the roof. 

A moment of silence, a crash of thunder, then Myungsu went on. "They knocked down all the doors in my building. They took me to Seoul, only I didn't know where I was. They drugged me, or something, they took my blood, my piss, everything. And then one day they stopped coming. I had food to last a week. No one came." 

He was shaking a little, down. Byunghun's arms were around him, holding him. He wanted to cry, to beat on something, he did neither. "I had been in that hotel for just over five months when I found you." He swallowed, staring outside and then back at Byunghun. "It my nightmares, there's always someone breaking down doors."

They said nothing to each other for a long time. Myungsu glanced over at Sooah's door, but it remained closed. He looked back and Byunghun was watching him. He shifted, pulling Myungsu down on top of him. They kissed, soft and gentle giving way to something deeper, harder. A crack of thunder broke them apart, the shock reminding them that they were on the couch. Myungsu freed himself from Byunghun, holding his hand out to his boyfriend. 

They blew the candles out and before heading to their bedroom, looked in on Sooah. She was surrounded by plushies, asleep and oblivious to chaos outside. Myungsu slid his arm around Byunghun and they watched her for a minute, then another. He wanted to call Sooah his daughter, the way she called them both father. He felt she was, he knew Byunghun felt the same. 

They retreated, closing the door softly behind them, to their bedroom. Tomorrow they'll talk to Sooah, piece together her story in hopes of healing her. But right now, they needed to heal themselves, a little more. They undressed each other in the darkness, the only light from the lightning. Myungsu knew Byunghun's body almost as well as he knows his own. But this time was different. They weren't careful around each other, there was no tenderness, just raw emotion, filling them both. 

Later, after they'd slipped into boxers, Sooah would come whimpering to them. She'd crawl in between them and Myungsu would think, half-asleep, that this was family. They were a family. The three of them.


	14. Travel

The rainy season ended almost abruptly during the first week in August. The last week of July was basically a monsoon, raining constantly, but no storms. Myungsu and Byunghun played outside with Sooah, enjoying the rain when it wasn't falling in sheets. But one morning Myungsu woke up to find the sun shining brightly, the humidity almost gone.

They opened all the windows, letting the fresh air into their previously stuffy house. They ate breakfast on the porch, sunlight streaming in. Since they talked about the nightmares, they'd become closer. Not just Myungsu and Byunghun, but with Sooah, too. Myungsu felt they were a real family now, that Byunghun was not just his boyfriend, but his partner too. They'd talked about it, one night, and agreed that that's what they were. Myungsu felt almost whole.

They waited a week to make sure the rainy season has ended, at least for now. They spent their time exploring the neighborhood to check out how it survived the storms. They went to the park almost every day, Sooah happy to be allowed to run around. There were more animals now, lots of birds, the river was teeming with fish. Byunghun talked about finding a fishing rod. Fresh meat was something all three of them longed for.

Dogs roamed the streets, mostly in packs, and often at night. Sooah heard them first, scared and then excited. Where they were alone before, when the silence of the city was oppressive, it seemed to come alive now. They kept away from the dogs and the feral cats that wanted to claim the city for their own. Myungsu knew that Sooah wanted a pet, but until they found a puppy or a kitten, they had to keep her away. Byunghun suggested they build fences to keep the dogs out and, at some point, Myungsu knew they'd have to. But for now, it wasn't a priority.

During the second week of August, Myungsu brought up his travel ideas. On their fourth pass through the neighborhood, Myungsu had found a truck, larger than the one Byunghun had used to move them. It started up fine and the gas tank was full. After a brief, hushed argument, Byunghun agreed that they should take day trip out of the city.

But first, Byunghun insisted, they had to go to the library. Monday afternoon, they walked to the library, returning with books on taking care of chickens (for Sooah), raising chickens for eggs and food (for Myungsu) and building chicken coops (for Byunghun). They spent the next day reading and taking notes. Myungsu and Byunghun left Sooah to her picture books of chickens who learn how to talk, which were far too young for her but still entertaining, and tried to figure out where they'd put a chicken coop. 

Myungsu suggested putting it on the patio, further from the road, but Byunghun didn't think there was enough room. He walked around their tiny patio and then stopped at the wall separating their yard, small as it was, from the neighboring one. There was a gate and Byunghun turned to Myungsu, excited. They could take down part of the wall, replace it with the gate, and then build the coop in inside. 

"What would you do with the gaping hole left by the gate?" Myungsu asked, thoughtfully. 

"Fill it with the parts of the wall we took down." Byunghun said, excitedly. 

Myungsu crossed over to Byunghun and stared at the wall and after moment, he stepped closer, leaning on it. He glanced over at Byunghun. "We'll need tools …" Myungsu trailed off, but it was enough to put a spring in Byunghun's step. 

"I'm sure we can find some tools, whatever we need." Byunghun said as they walked back upstairs. Myungsu stood on the deck, looking down and tried to envision a chicken coop. Much to his surprise, he had no problems imagining it at all. 

That Friday they packed food and provisions, should something happen, loaded Sooah into the truck, and set out. They left not long after breakfast and as excited as Myungsu was to leave the city, he was also apprehensive. They wouldn't be at their house, if something happened, but at least they were all together. Material possessions weren't as important as their lives.

Their trip didn't have an end location. Myungsu had poured over the maps they'd collected, first from the guesthouse and then, later, from the libraries and other places they visited, but he wasn't really sure where they were going to find chickens. Finally, he asked both Sooah and Byunghun for suggestions. Byunghun offered up the idea of picking a direction and just driving. Without a better plan, that's what they did. 

They drove for an hour, and then another before stopping for lunch. As they drove, Myungsu knew the three of them were constantly looking for people, for signs of life. There was life, of course. They saw cattle and sheep wandering through the forests, Myungsu wanted to know if they'd escaped or been set free a while their owners were dying. He'd never find the answer, but it comforted him, a little, to see that life went on, even though it wasn't human.

But they saw no people. Myungsu believed and he felt that Byunghun did to, that there had to be other survivors. Perhaps the Korean government, while there still was one, had packed them all up in that hotel, but Myungsu didn't really believe that. They'd found him because he hadn't known to hide himself. They found Byunghun because he was on an army base and they'd found Sooah because she'd been wandering the streets after her parents died. 

Myungsu was sure, the more he thought about it, that the rest of the people they'd captured had been because they hadn't been clever enough to hide. He didn't know why the three of them were the only survivors from the hotel, but he tried not to question it too much. Instead, he imagined that there were people in hiding, who heard the sound of trucks and thought the military was back and vanished. He was comforted by the idea that one day they'd find signs of other people. 

It was Sooah's excited shouting that brought Myungsu out of his thoughts. She'd been staring intently out the window and cried out excitedly when she said she saw a chicken. It was a half hour after they'd stopped for lunch. Neither Myungsu nor Byunghun saw them from the road, but at Sooah's insistence, they stopped. By this time they'd been driving around for almost three hours. Had they been going the speed limit, Myungsu knew, they would've reached the Sea of Japan. But they weren't going the speed limit, they crawled along, the back of the truck full of enough gas to get them back home again. 

Once out of the car, they approached what looked like a small village. There was no one around and when Myungsu checked one of the houses, he saw the remains of an elderly couple. They searched through several more of the houses, shouting greetings, but there was no answer. Myungsu hadn't expected an answer, though he'd hoped maybe they'd find survivors, especially now that they demonstrated they weren't a threat. 

He looked back at their truck. It was nothing special. Myungsu had spotted it outside a shop. It had a logo on it for a moving business. Myungsu tried not to think about the owner. He turned back to Sooah who was running toward him, waving her hands excitedly. He scooped her up and let her guide him to the chickens. There were a lot of them. 

Byunghun soon joined them, carrying a box. Inside, he'd lined it with something soft, what Myungsu didn't know, and then grinned at him. "For the chicks." 

Myungsu nodded and then he and Sooah carefully went into the coop. There were plenty of chicken and lots of chicks. Myungsu assumed this is what happened when no one was there to collect the eggs. Myungsu and Sooah collected the chicks, Sooah laughing and giggling even as the chickens tried to peck at their legs. Myungsu met Byunghun's gaze over her head and nodded, slightly. 

After they got what they decided were enough chicks, Myungsu led Sooah away from the coop. He left Byunghun to kills some of the chickens, which they'd take back and eat, but he knew Sooah shouldn't be nearby. Eventually they'd talk to her about it, but not right now. Instead, after securing the chicks in the box and leaving it near the truck, they went exploring in the village. They found everything Byunghun would need for fishing and Myungsu found some tools that might come in handy for building the chicken coop. 

When they returned to the car, Byunghun was already back and filling the tank up with gas. Myungsu pointed to the tools he and Sooah brought back with them, along with the fishing gear. Byunghun leaned over and kissed him and then asked Myungsu to help him find some fencing for the coop. When they were finished, they ate a quick snack and climbed back in the truck. The chicks sat at their feet, though Myungsu had covered them with an old blanket he found, in case the drive frightened them. 

Sooah fell asleep between them as Myungsu took his turn at the wheel, Byunghun having driven them the first leg of their trip. The drive home was much faster, not just because Myungsu was going the speed limit. It was almost dusk when they reached their house and as they turned down the street, Myungsu saw that the lanterns they'd hung up on the porch, powered by the sun, were shining brightly. He felt something break in him, a little, as he brought the truck to a stop in front of their house. Byunghun got out first, taking the dead chickens up to the kitchen, while Sooah and Myungsu decided where to keep the chicks, inside, until they had the coop built. 

They ate dinner, the first time any of them had tasted meat in a very long time, quietly. Sooah didn't ask where the chicken came from, though Myungsu had a feeling she already knew. He saw that she was far smarter than either he or Byunghun gave her credit for being. Maybe it was because she had to grow up fast or maybe because neither of them had a lot of experience with children, regardless, she sometimes seemed the smartest of the three of them. 

They spent the next two weeks creating the chicken coop. Sooah was occupied with taking care of the chickens, which got easier after they found a pet shop that still had food suitable for chickens. While Sooah occupies her time with the chickens, she doesn't ask for a pet, but both Myungsu and Byunghun know that will eventually change, but for now they're all happy. 

The chicken coop is a bigger project than both had expected. Not just because rebuilding the wall is far harder than taking it down. They still manage to accomplish it without either of them getting seriously injured. Moving the gate turned out to be the most difficult, the posts were deep in the ground and they had to destroy some concrete in order to free them. But once they'd freed them, they fit neatly in the hole they'd put into the wall between the two houses. The next step was to rebuild the wall, which took them almost a week. They ended up making the rest of the wall taller as well, to keep people and animals both out and in, not that they had to worry too much about people. 

Myungsu spent some time inside the neighboring house, trying to figure out how they'd connect it to their own. Eventually he decided there wasn't a good way, except through the lower level. He shelved his ideas for later discussion and returned to find Byunghun ripping up the cement that covered the ground of the same house. It took them all day and Myungsu could barely stand when they'd finished. But it meant there wasn't much left to do, aside from put up the fencing and the house that Byunghun had worked on and Sooah painted. 

When their two weeks were done, the chicks, who'd grown faster that Myungsu imagined, were let into the coop. It was small, Myungsu was worried it was too small, but Byunghun assured him it would work, they'd taken over much of the front patio. Myungsu trusted Byunghun and when he saw how excited Sooah was, he let his worries slide. 

They had other projects they wanted to accomplish and Myungsu was sure that problems would arise, but at that moment, as they watched Sooah feeding the chickens, Myungsu felt almost content. He could pretend, as Byunghun slid his hand into Myungsu's, that this was the way things had always been, that their lives were really okay.


	15. Water

The end of August spelled minor disaster, but they didn't know. There was no way to know that the mechanisms controlling the gas and water would fail at the same time. That the lack of humanity to fix problems as they arose would finally catch up to the reality of the new world Myungsu, Byunghun and Sooah lived in. Of course, they expected the gas and water to fail, they'd prepared, at least somewhat, for that eventuality. But the day Myungsu turned on the tap and nothing came out still caused him grief.

The gas was an easier fix. On one of their many foraging trips, Myungsu had come across a stove/oven combo that used wood. They'd designed the location for their new oven, keeping it outside, but shielding the user from the elements. Byunghun turned the gas nozzle off, which also meant no hot water, but their new stove worked perfectly fine to heat the water. They removed the gas stove and replaced it with shelves and a counter, all the woodworking skills Byunghun learned making the chicken coop came in handy again.

Two days later, after they'd installed the stove and the shelve and counter had been put in place, the water stopped working. Myungsu had been up early, ready to start making breakfast, when he'd turned on the tap. When no water came out, it was as though the last bits of humanity that remained had finally vanished. Byunghun found Myungsu standing in front of the sink, tears slipping silently down his face. He didn't even need to ask what happened.

Instead, he pulled Myungsu into his arms. Myungsu buried his face against Byunghun's chest and they both accepted what they'd been denying for so long, that they were well and truly alone. That there were no others coming to find them. That they had to make this work themselves. Myungsu pulled himself together, kissing Byunghun softly.

"We can do this." Byunghun said, his voice a soft whisper in the silence of the early morning.

Myungsu didn't reply, but he nodded. They could, they had to, there was no choice.

He and Byunghun went downstairs and brought one of the barrels of water they'd collected during the rainy season and hooked it up to the water filtration system they'd gotten much earlier. It ran slowly, bubbling comfortingly as it came to life. The water that came out of the filtration system wasn't cold, but it seemed clearer and cleaner than what had come out of tap only the day before.

They let Sooah sleep in as they discussed other changes that would need to be made. They'd gotten several other filtration systems, one of which Myungsu suggested they could use for showering and laundry. Cold water was good for clothing, but maybe they could rig up some sort of system, on the lower level or even outside, to keep the water warm as they showered. Byunghun sketched out the plans as they came together. They'd need a firepit of some kind and a heat resist container.

Myungsu knew they'd have to take another trip deeper into Seoul, but he was sure there were plenty of places they hadn't picked clean. They made plans for the next day's travel, using the map tacked to the wall to decide where to go. But there was a bigger, more pressing problem they had to solve.

"The toilet." Byunghun said, softly.

Myungsu nodded. He actually had an idea what they could do, but he didn't like it. He knew how privileged he was, how important indoor plumbing had been to their survival. But now it was gone. They'd solved, or were on their way to solving, their other water related problems. Perhaps they could even figure out way to pump water from the Han River into their home. But the toilet was another matter.

"I ..." Myungsu started, then stopped. He left the room, walking to the main living area and pulled a number of books off the shelf and then freed one that had been hiding behind them. He'd picked it up, surreptitiously, when they'd visited the engineering library. He carried it back into the room, hiding the cover from Byunghun. "I have an idea. It's ... you're not going to like it. I don't like it." He said, softly.

He sat back down at the table, looking over at Byunghun, his boyfriend, his partner, the man he was undoubtedly in love with. He set the book on the table and slid it across.

"An outhouse?" Byunghun's voice was as skeptical as Myungsu had expected. There was a little disgust creeping into the words, too.

"I know." Myungsu understood, he'd felt the same way, he still did. "But we can't use the toilet anymore."

"We have to make our own." Byunghun said, the disgust quickly giving way to resignation. But Myungsu watched as he flipped through the pages, until he found how elaborate outhouses could be. He could see the wheels turning in Byunghun's head, it was a project even Sooah could help with.

Myungsu bit his bottom lip and looked at Byunghun. "There's a spot, between our house and that one." He pointed to the house on their left. "We'd have to take the wall down, create a building of some kind, but we could make a tunnel, maybe?" He reached across the table and pulled out some rough sketches he'd made.

Byunghun grabbed them, setting them on top of the book. He looked through them and then back up at Myungsu. "We could ..." He trailed off and Myungsu knew this is what they'd do.

At that moment, Sooah walked into the room. She crawled onto Myungsu's lap. "Appas, why is the barrel ..." She started and then stopped. "Water?"

Both of them nodded at her. And then Myungsu watched her face fall. He pulled her closer as the tears came. Myungsu was about to reassure her that they had water when she spoke again, tearfully.

"Does that mean we have to leave here? What about my chickens?" Her voice was choked with sobs.

Byunghun pushed out of his chair and came around the table, kneeling in front of her. "Sooah, we're not leaving."

Myungsu kissed the top of her head. "The chickens will be fine. We'll be fine." 

Sooah's eyes went wide, but she was still crying. 

Byunghun reached for the book Myungsu had brought him and opened it to a picture of an outhouse. "We're going to build a bathroom, outside. We won't need water for that." 

Sooah made a face, but she'd stopped crying. She took the book, set it on the table and began to flip through it. After a few minutes of looking at the book she seemed to have made up her mind. She turned, first to Myungsu and then Byunghun. "Okay." Then she slipped off Myungsu's lap and wandered into the other room. 

Myungsu and Byunghun looked at each other, both letting out a breath. Byunghun rested his head on the table. "I didn't know how she was going to react." He confided, quietly. 

Myungsu slid his hand into Byunghun's hair, rubbing his fingers against his head. "Better than I would've, at her age." Myungsu said, thinking about his younger self and how everything had changed. 

Byunghun sat up, then stood, looking over at Myungsu. He leaned across the table and kissed him. They remained that way for a moment or two before pulled back. They had a lot of work to do, a lot of planning. It would take them a month to build the outhouse properly, but they'd start using it before it was finished. It rained off and on through September, making their projects take longer. But by the end of September, they'd managed to complete the outhouse, though it needed a little more work, and the makeshift shower, which also needed more work, but at least functioned. 

Myungsu had run a hose to a shower nozzle he'd found on one of their explorations. They'd found tubing that seemed to be able to handle hot water, along with a huge tub for boiling water. After a few attempts, resulting in everyone getting soaked, they managed to get the hose working. They dug a drain, lined it and had the water flow outside, toward a spot that Myungsu decided he might start a garden in, a very tiny one, maybe with some flowers. The walls weren't really walls at all, instead they use shower doors and curtains. They'd had to move their workshop to the house next door, the one with the chicken coop. But in the end it was worth it. 

It was October before the rains stopped and temperatures really cooled off. They spent a lot of time outside, but also in two surrounding houses. Myungsu's dream of making the next door houses part of their own was beginning to take shape. His desire for a balcony bridge between the houses was a pipe dream, but Byunghun suggested a covered walkway. They lined the inside of the roof with more fairy lights, connected to small solar panels they affixed to the top of the walkway. 

Inside the second house, which was smaller than theirs, they turned it into a workshop, a library, and a room where most of Sooah's toys were stored. Though they'd completed the outhouse, shower, and walkway, the inside of the second house took much longer. Mostly because they were also preparing for winter. They'd had to go in search of more winter clothes, bedding and figure out how to protect the chickens during the winter. 

During the last week of October, the three of them took a walk to the park. They'd all been there, on and off, during the summer and early autumn, but not always together. There were too many projects to keep them occupied to go together. But it seemed now they had finally reached a lull. 

The park, like much of the city, had slowly been taken over by nature. There was no one left to mow the grass or keep the weeds out, so it was overrun. Myungsu stood, watching Byunghun and Sooah fishing, something they enjoyed that he did not, which mean he always cleaned the fish. Though he didn't mind that part. 

He looked around and, not for the first time, turned to look at their neighborhood. Windows in some of the taller buildings were breaking, the paint was coming off others, and the closer he looked, the more he could see nature taking things back. Their houses were the only ones that fought back. 

He looked across the river. From here, even in late afternoon, the city still looked alive, the same as it ever looked. But Myungsu knew from personal experience that the city wasn't the same. The once shining buildings seemed to dull as time passed. He sometimes thought he imagined it, but he knew he hadn't. Before the world ended, he'd seen enough movies and documentaries about abandoned cities. Nature took everything back, eventually. 

With a sigh, he returned his attention to Byunghun and Sooah. They were laughing about something and it made Myungsu feel happy, feel pleased that they were in his life. If he had to survive, at least he wasn't alone. And if he had to survive with other people, he couldn't have found two he loved more. He didn't know, if things had been different, that he could love them like he does, nor did he know if he could've ever loved anyone the way he loves them now. It doesn't matter, he reminded himself, because that world was over. 

They could bring things from that world into their own, something Myungsu had finally found the time to work on, but they would never be of this world. His room in their second house, was filled with electronics he was trying to use. Not everything was successful, but he knew sooner, rather than later, he'd be able to give Sooah video games to play with. It would keep them all busy when winter hit. Myungsu had a feeling, though he didn't really know what it was based on, that this winter would be worse. At least they would be better prepared. 

Sooah shouting at him returned his attention, once again, to the present. 

"Myungsu-appa! Myungsu-appa!" She shouted, holding up a very large fish. 

He jogged over to them and examined the fish. He told Sooah how proud of her he was and then kissed her forehead. He grinned at Byunghun, who reached out and slipped his hand into Myungsu's. The sun was setting, but it was still somewhat warm, even this far into November, so they could stay out a bit longer. 

Sooah cast her fishing line again and they watched the water in silence. Myungsu's attention drifted again, he felt too philosophical to be distracted by Sooah's fishing, and he stared out at the Seoul he could see, across from him. The skyscrapers remained, empty and silent. Sometimes Myungsu swore he saw lights, but he could never see them more than out of the corner of his eye. 

He felt Byunghun squeeze his hand and he turned to look at him. "You're thinking too much." 

"I can't help it." He replied, resting his head against Byunghun's shoulder. 

"I know." Came Byunghun's soft reply. 

Their world had changed and somehow they had changed, too. The world kept changing, though, and they had to adapt. It was hard, Myungsu knew, but he didn't have to do it alone. He rested a hand on Sooah's back, touching both of the people he loved. Even if they weren't the only people left, they were all that he had. Maybe, one day, they'd find others, but for right now being with them was enough.


	16. Midnight

November passed by in a blur of repairs and preparations for winter. They made two more trips out of the city, both to stock up on wood for their stove. The second time, Byunghun and Sooah took one of the trucks and Myungsu found another to take, they filled their vehicles so full that Myungsu was glad, for once, that there's no one else to share the roads. They used the house near their outhouse to store the wood and water for the winter, along with the plants that Myungsu wanted to make sure survive through the cold. They turned the lower level into storage and the upper level into a greenhouse.

Both Myungsu and Byunghun, on different occasions, visited all the shops in their neighborhood, and beyond, cleaning them out of all edible food. The pickings were slim and growing slimmer. Myungsu added 'new ways to acquire food' to a list they have posted on a wall in the kitchen -- the list was made of things they'll need to plan, when January comes and they won't be able to leave the house. Myungsu worried about January, about the cold weather, the outhouse and their lives. He was scared they won't survive the winter, but at the same time, he refused to allow himself to dwell on this fact.

Instead he, Sooah and Byunghun make their final trip across the river and into Gangnam. They hit as many clothing stores as they could, taking as much as they can. Filling up the back of Byunghun's SUV with clothing, bedding and whatever other cold weather supplies they could find. By the end of the second to last week in November, they'd done as much as they could do. The 'winter preparations' list on the wall is nothing but crossed off lines. They'd been to the library, fortified the chicken's coop, built a covered path to the outhouse and now all they do was wait.

November 23rd snuck up on Myungsu. He'd marked it on their makeshift calendar, along with other holidays. This one, though, just had a B. Myungsu wanted to make a cake, but he cannot. They had no flour, no milk, and so he made do with a fancy meal of whatever he can pull together. Myungsu had added to the list, earlier in the week, talk about other ways to get food. He knew they may have to learn how to farm and he added that to the list, too.

Byunghun woke up late on the 23rd, his birthday. Sooah and Myungsu were in the kitchen, preparing food for him. They brought it to him in bed, Sooah sitting with him while he ate. Myungsu found an old camera, one that winds and doesn't need batteries, and he took photos of them eating, then Sooah took photos of the two of them, before they squish together for what Myungsu joked was the last and most awkward selca ever. Once Myungsu can figure out how to develop photos without chemicals, they'll have these memories.

For his birthday, Myungsu gave Byunghun a solar powered clock that can hang in their work room next door. Sooah gave him a book she, with Myungsu's help, wrote and drew. Byunghun tried not to cry, but Myungsu could tell he wanted to. He shooed Sooah out of the room, sending her downstairs to feed the chickens, while he pulled his boyfriend into his arms. They didn't talk, instead Byunghun cried silent tears in Myungsu's arms.

"Last year ..." He said, quietly.

"We forgot all of them." Myungsu replied. Their birthdays, all the holidays, passed without comment. This was really the first one they'd celebrated.

"We'll celebrate, this year." Byunghun said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Myungsu kissed his boyfriend. "We will."

They heard Sooah running up the stairs and, without another kiss, pulled themselves together. Myungsu greeted her in the kitchen while Byunghun made his way downstairs to shower. The water ran as Myungsu and Sooah clean up the breakfast dishes. Sooah chattered away about the chickens, all of whom she'd named. They'd both talked to her about chickens and killing them for and she said she understood. She also said they'd need a rooster if they wanted more chickens, which had led to discussions about having the sex talk, though they waited until she'd gone to bed. A few more years, Byunghun suggested, or sooner if they found people.

Myungsu shook his head, clearing it. He wasn't ready to think about what would happen if they didn't find other people, other survivors. He didn't want to leave Sooah alone, after he and Byunghun died. He turned when he heard Byunghun enter the room. The pain in his heart must've been on his face because Byunghun crossed to him, wrapping him up in his arms. After a long moment, Byunghun released Myungsu and they went about their day as normal.

That night, Myungsu slept poorly, tossing and turning. Eventually he gave up, crawled out of bed and retreated to the porch. He picked a candle, one of the scented ones they'd found in a stationary store. He lit it and the smell of vanilla seemed to fill the porch. Outside was dark and quiet, everything, even the wild dogs, had quieted. Myungsu retreated to the kitchen, taking his candle, and put the kettle on. While he waited for the water to boil, he looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost midnight. 

Usually, he was so exhausted he slept the whole night. But his mind was running on overdrive, thinking of all the thoughts he'd pushed away in daylight. He turned away from the stove, after checking the level of the wood, and looked at their list. He added 'blankets to cover the windows to keep the heat in' to the list and then went about finding tea. It was one thing they were sure not to run out of, they had a whole cupboard and another bin filled with tea and hot chocolate. 

The water started to boil and Myungsu poured the water into the mug, made sure the oven remained lit and then took the mug and his candle with him to the porch. He curled up on the couch, grabbing a book of the end table. He hadn't gotten very far when he heard the floorboards creaking. He turned and saw Byunghun. 

"Myungsu?" He said, softly. 

"Couldn't sleep." Myungsu replied and then started to get up. 

Byunghun held up a hand. "I'm going to make some tea and join you." 

Myungsu smiled. "Water's probably still hot." 

Byunghun smiled back and then slipped quietly out of the room. Myungsu closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of Byunghun in the kitchen. A few minutes later the sounds quieted and light flicked off and Byunghun joined Myungsu on the couch. 

It was easy to see why this room was their favorite. The windows were on three of the four sides, the fourth was the wall behind them, now covered in Sooah's drawings and pages from her coloring books. The windows all had the wide window sills that they'd installed, to act in place of a coffee table. There were books, plants, paper, coloring books, and writing implements spread out and no matter how Myungsu tried, he could never keep them clean. And, in the end, he just decided he didn't care. Better on the sill than on the floor. 

Byunghun settled next to Myungsu, who set down his book, not caring that he'd lost his spot. He shifted, sliding his arm around Byunghun. Byunghun rested his head on Myungsu's shoulder and they sat quietly, sipping their tea. Myungsu glanced at the clock on the far end of the sill, it was past midnight now, but he knew neither of them would probably get much sleep. 

"I didn't mean to wake you." Myungsu said, breaking the silence. 

Byunghun shook his head. "You didn't. I couldn't sleep, either. I was just waiting to see if you were coming back to bed." 

Myungsu shifted again, setting his mostly empty mug on the window sill and then turning to look at Byunghun, face in shadows in the candlelight. "I couldn't stop thinking." 

"About?" Byunghun asked, both hands around his mug. 

"The future. What happens to Sooah after we die. What happens to us when we can't find food anymore. What happens if …" Myungsu stopped and swallowed, looking away from Byunghun, out into the darkness. "What happens if we can't find any other survivors." He finally whispered. 

He heard, rather than saw, Byunghun set his mug next to his own. In the silence, it was like the ocean ringing in his ears. He felt Byunghun shift, leaning in close. Byunghun's fingers against his face, gently tugging at him. He turned. 

"We take each day as it comes." Byunghun said, quietly. 

Myungsu heard echoes of other conversations they had, late at night, early in the morning, while Sooah was asleep in their arms on this very couch. 

"We do what we can. We make our lives as enjoyable as possible." Byunghun paused and then pulled Myungsu into his arms. "Remembers those video game handhelds you bought? You make them work properly. We read more. We learn." 

Myungsu shifted, resting his head against Byunghun's chest. He could hear Byunghun's heartbeat, he could feel it. He took a deep breath, but Byunghun was talking again, so he said nothing, just listened. 

"I saw your additions to the list. I think we should learn how to farm. We'll need to grow more of our own food, we'll have no choice." Byunghun stopped and Myungsu shifted. 

"Okay." He said, quietly. 

"Okay?" Byunghun echoed. 

Myungsu smiled and then leaned in and kissed Byunghun. "Yeah." He didn't really need to explain himself to Byunghun, he knew his boyfriend understood. He knew it by the way Byunghun kissed him back, the way he felt Byunghun's arms around him. He knew it by the way their bodies fit together. 

After a long moment, Myungsu leaned forward and blew the candle out. They sat in the darkness for a long time, looking out into nothingness. And then, when the glow-in-the-dark hands on the clock said it was nearly three am, they both fell into bed.


	17. Holidays

Myungsu found the decorations in a room he hadn't noticed before. He hadn't even intended to look through the house, but he'd gone over to find a book, though he never made it to their library. Instead, he noticed a door on the lower level that he'd never paid attention to before. He assumed, rightly so, that it was a closet of some sort. What he hadn't realized was that it was quite a big closet, more like a small room. Inside were some clothes and boxes, a lot of boxes. They were all labeled, some of them said baby clothes, other said toys, and the biggest boxes, on the bottom, were labeled Christmas.

After setting aside the other boxes, and looking through the toys with Sooah on his mind though they ended being too young for her, he pulled out the boxes labeled Christmas. There were four of them. One of them had cards and for a moment he was distracted by the notes inside each of them. Whoever lived in this house had kept Christmas cards going back at least ten years. He put that box back, feeling a lump in the back of his throat that he hadn't felt since they moved into the house next door. He opened the second box, it was full of ornaments for a Christmas tree that didn't exist along with wrapping paper. He pulled out a roll of paper and put the box back in the closet.

It was the third box, though, that Myungsu took with him. Inside, he found strings of artificial garland, Christmas lights, and candles, lots of candles. There were even a few battery operated candles that they could leave lit in the windows. They had plenty of tiny batteries that wouldn't be used for anything else, but would work nicely with the candles.

He carried the box out into the work area, left the wrapping paper hidden away with the video game handhelds he'd almost fixed, and carried the box back to the house. It hadn't started snowing yet, which Myungsu counted as a blessing, and December was turning out to be rather mild. Byunghun commented that this might mean January would be rough and Myungsu couldn't disagree. These lights would brighten up the dull grey that seemed to encircle the house, even when the sun was out.

When Myungsu walked into the kitchen, the house was quiet. He looked at the wall, at the white board, and saw a note from Byunghun. He and Sooah had gone out to the library, since the weather seemed to be clear for a few hours. They expected to be back by dinner time. Myungsu felt lonely for a very long moment, wishing he was with them. Then the weight of the box in his hand caused the loneliness to vanish. He set the box on the table and started to unpack it. At the very bottom, he found some Christmas CDs. Whoever had lived next door had been obsessed with Christmas music and, after a moment's hesitation, Myungsu rushed back over to the neighboring house.

In their workroom, Myungsu unearthed a CD/radio he'd found and kept, but forgotten about until that moment. He checked the bottom, saw that it took batteries, and found a compatible set from the collection they'd been building, and returned to the house. He put in the batteries, popped a CD in and Christmas music filled the kitchen. Myungsu felt frozen, unable to move. He couldn't believe that he'd forgotten music. They'd done so many other things since moving out of the guesthouse and into a real house, but they hadn't listened to music. There were other things, modern luxuries, that they'd ignored, but music was something Myungsu didn't even notice was missing until now.

He felt tears on his face and brushed them away. He made a mental note to look for more CDs at the earliest opportunity. He wondered if there was a way to have Byunghun hook up a solar panel just to power the CD player. He listened to a whole CD, lasting about forty five minutes, before he remembered what he was originally going to do. The CD he'd been listening to was called American Christmas Classics. He didn't even particularly like whoever the American singer was all that much, but it wasn't important. He set that CD aside and looked at the others. He found Christmas songs for children, a kpop Christmas album, and other Christmas music. He'd just about given up when, at the very bottom of the pile, he found a couple of CDs of traditional Korean music.

Growing up, he'd always been a fan of pop music and he knew that Byunghun shared that interest. They'd briefly talked about music, back in the guesthouse, before they realized how much their lives were going to change. Byunghun also liked hip hop, Myungsu liked indie, in addition to their mutual enjoyment of pop. And then the conversation had ended because ... Myungsu's own thoughts trailed off, he had no idea why it had ended. He shook his head, bringing himself out of his memories and into the present. He picked the first CD of traditional music and put it in the CD player, music filled the room once more, but this time Myungsu wasn't transfixed.

Instead, he went into the living room and cleared off a shelf of books, piling them on the coffee table to be reshelved elsewhere. He set the CD/Radio player on the shelf and the pile of CDs he found next to it. He stared at it for a moment, wondering why he'd never thought of this before, and then returned to the kitchen. He put everything back in the box and carried it back into the living room. The couch here was different from the sectional couch on the porch. This one faced the TV, which was still hanging on the wall. Neither he nor Byunghun had wanted to take it down. The couch fit the three of them easily, and sometimes they'd sit and read together, or play board games on the coffee table, with one of them sitting on a chair that sat lower to the floor on the other side of the coffee table.

Myungsu looked at the TV. His next project, he decided, was to see if he could get one of the DVD players and the TV to work with a car battery, so they could watch movies. But he wasn't sure it would work, so he hadn't mentioned it. Maybe, if he was lucky, they could even find a way to hook up a game console. The three houses they now lived in had been occupied by at least six families of some sort and there were plenty of movies, video games and video game consoles in the workroom. Myungsu promised himself that he'd work on it in January, during the coldest part of the winter, to give him something to do.

He turned his attention back to the Christmas decorations. He glanced at the clock they hung on the wall, it had to be wound every few months, but told the time, or the best estimate of the time. Byunghun and Sooah probably wouldn't be back for another two hours, which was how much time Myungsu had to put up the decorations. He glanced outside, it was getting darker earlier every day, which also meant they'd come home in twilight, with Christmas lights waiting for them.

Myungsu found a hammer and some nails and hooks, then got to work. As he worked, he thought about electricity and how the solar panels did give them enough to run a few things, but not everything. They couldn't keep fresh food, if they even had any, because there wasn't enough power for the refrigerator. They couldn't use the electric stove from next door for the same reason. But, Myungsu reasoned, if they could affix more solar panels, should they find them, to the walls of the buildings around them, they might be able to power both of those.

As Myungsu strung lights, around the windows on the porch, then around the living room, before along the railing outside, Myungsu wondered why it'd taken him so to think about these simple luxuries; music, movies, video games. He remembered going to the game store with Byunghun, but he hadn't gotten further than testing some of the batteries. He thought about the rainy season, keeping Sooah occupied, all the things they did -- all the time he could've been working on the handhelds or making the DVD players work. It had all just slipped his mind.

Myungsu stood back to admire his handiwork, the lights were all lit, connected to two car batteries from their stash that Myungsu worried would one day run out before they had other means of power. He turned them off, for now, and walked back inside. He separated the candles, the plastic from the real ones. He put the real candles with the rest of their real ones and then put the plastic, battery operated candles, in the windows of the porch. They fit nicely on the windowsill. He turned them on and then walked downstairs to see what they looked like from outside. These, he thought as he stood on the street, could stay on all night.

Shivering, Myungsu ran back upstairs and grabbed his jacket. He loved walking into the house because the music filled the room. He turned the Christmas lights back on and dashed down the stairs again. Everything looked perfect, he thought. He knew, as he stood outside in his winter coat, why he hadn't brought back any of their luxuries. It was because they were too busy surviving. And, even now, it felt extravagant to listen to and enjoy music. Myungsu filed these feelings away, it was something to talk to Byunghun about, later, when they were alone and Sooah was asleep.

He went back upstairs and the house was quiet again. He took a moment to savor the silence, but it was too much, now that he'd had music back in his life. He put in the next CD of traditional Korean music and began fixing dinner. There was a list, attached the the refrigerator door with magnets, that kept track of all the food they'd like to have. It was a long list now and growing longer. But looking at it, Myungsu thought back to his conversation with Byunghun the previous month and to the list of the things to discuss when winter hit. Myungsu had his vegetables in the makeshift greenhouse next door. They'd figured out, thanks to books at the library, how to dry the meat from the chickens and so they had some protein. And, eventually, their chickens downstairs would have eggs.

But Myungsu missed flour, he missed cookies and cakes and everything you baked. He missed noodles, fresh ones, but they had plenty of instant and Myungsu had learned how to make all sorts of different meals from them. Both he and Byunghun had long since appreciated the flexibility of instant noodle.

He'd just finished preparing dinner, which was simmering on the stove, when he heard voices. He didn't turn from the stove, he just waited. The CD just started afresh, Myungsu had put it on repeat, and the house was brightly lit with Christmas lights alongside the regular lights in the kitchen. Sooah's excited voice cut through the music as Myungsu heard her fling the door open. Only now did he step away from the stove, looking through the doorway. He watched as both Byunghun and Sooah stopped when they stepped inside. Maybe it was the music, or the lights, or maybe both, but for a moment neither of them moved.

Then Sooah turned, saw Myungsu, and flung herself at him. He scooped her up in his arms, but his eyes were on Byunghun. He was smiling, but his eyes were shining in the lights. Myungsu crossed over to him and then leaned in and pressed his mouth against Byunghun's. He felt Byunghun's tears against his own skin as they kissed. Then he pulled back and carried Sooah around, showing her all the lights. When they returned, Byunghun pulled them both into his arms. They stood that way for a long time, until Myungsu heard the pot on the stove boiling over.

It snowed on Christmas Day. It was a dusting, nothing more, but Sooah ran outside and played in it while Myungsu and Byunghun fixed their Christmas dinner. Byunghun had found chocolate, which they have for dessert. They didn't have a tree, but Myungsu had found someone's inflatable palm tree and Sooah had suggested they use that, because they weren't going to be using it for anything else. They draped some garland over it and put the presents under the tree. They'd open them later, before dinner. Sooah had been too excited to sit still, so they'd had breakfast and sent her outside to feed the chickens and play.

They'd been alone, since the lights and the music, but they hadn't talked, not really. Or at least not really about anything other than Christmas dinner ideas and winter preparations. Myungsu didn't know why and he was worried, maybe overly worried. He tried not to dwell on it and refused to bring it up, it's Christmas, after all. 

He's relieved when Sooah came in, giddy and cold, and ready to eat. She didn't ask about presents, Myungsu wondered why. Maybe it was because this was the second Christmas without her family, but the first they'd actually celebrated. Or maybe because she'd grown up some, far too fast, really. Regardless, it made him sad that she hadn't asked to open the presents immediately. 

They ate dinner in the living room, sitting around the coffee table on cushions Byunghun had found, but kept hidden for Christmas. The centerpiece is a beautiful vase full of fake flowers, items that Sooah had gathered when they went through some of the nearby flats. The dishes were fancy, older than their combined ages, if not even older. They were also rescued from the flats nearby. What Myungsu loved about their dinner was that everyone contributed something. It made him even more secure in the knowledge that they were a family, the three of them, together. That where they came from, the world they lived in, none of it mattered as much as they did. 

And then it was time for presents. Sooah opened hers first. From Myungsu and Byunghun, she got a beautiful dress. They'd found it on one of their last trips to Gangnam. From Myungsu, she got kid's science set. It didn't need batteries or electricity and came with books as well as equipment. From Byunghun, she got a bike, a sled, and a bike helmet, all of which she loved. They also got her books, a journal of her own, and fancy pens they'd found in a some long-dead child's room. The last gift, for her, was a new plushie. Myungsu had found a toy store and both he and Byunghun had picked some of the nicer looking plushies to give to her as the years passed. 

From her to both of them, she'd drawn, without either of them noticing, a portrait of them. They were standing outside, on the deck, looking toward the river, though you couldn't see it from the deck. They were holding hands and Byunghun's head was on Myungsu's shoulder. Both men struggled not to cry in front of her. Sooah gave Byunghun his gift, it was a shiny new tool set that she and Myungsu had carefully wrapped with the paper he'd found. She gave Myungsu a basket of seeds, hundreds of little packets, as well as more gardening tools. Later, Byunghun would tell her how they'd been on their way to the library when Sooah had been distracted by an ornate birdcage in someone's yard and they'd gone into the house to investigate more and found the seeds. 

Myungsu made them together together for a photo. He'd found an old, but still functioning, Polaroid camera. They'd discovered that people kept all sorts of things instead of throwing them out. Closets were the best place to find cameras, decorations and other discarded, but not thrown away, items that they could salvage. Myungsu had made a note on their calendar for the next year to spend more time looking in closets. The walls of their living room would soon be covered in Polaroid photos. Myungsu just hoped he could find more film. 

The final gift, though, remained in the box, hidden under the kitchen table. Not even Byunghun had noticed. Myungsu excused himself and then returned with a larger, gift-wrapped box. He set it on the floor, in front of Sooah and Byunghun. 

"It's really for all of us." He said, quietly. He met Byunghun's gaze and knew that his secret wasn't really a secret, but Byunghun said nothing. 

Sooah tore open the wrapping paper, though she was careful. She'd learned, as they all had learned, that nothing lasts forever and she'd wanted to make sure the wrapping paper stuck around. It didn't need to, Myungsu knew there was more, but it touched him, so he didn't tell her it didn't matter. Because, in way, it did matter. It made Sooah happy and what made her happy, made both Byunghun and Myungsu happy, too. 

The handhelds were the perfect cap to their Christmas. Even Byunghun, initially reluctant, had taken to the little slice of the past. All three of them played games, late into the night, that Christmas. Eventually, though, the fancy candles had grown dim and they needed to shut the lights off for the night. Sooah complained, but sleepily, and after she'd brushed her teeth, she fell asleep almost immediately. 

Byunghun and Myungsu cleaned up. Myungsu carefully folded the wrapping paper, putting it in the box where he'd originally found the lights. They'd take those down at some point, but not tonight. Myungsu could hear Byunghun in the kitchen doing the dishes by lantern. He left the Christmas lights on, but blew out the candles, as well as put Sooah's gifts away, and placed his and Byunghun's by the door so they could taken them to their respective locations. He took the portrait from Sooah and tacked it up on the wall in their bedroom and then walked back into the living room. 

Byunghun was turning off the lights, the dishes completed. They looked at each other, faces lit from the battery-operated candles on the porch. Neither said anything, which seemed to be a theme with them, but the silence was comfortable. They were going to have to talk, not just about surviving, but about other things. About how they'd been together for basically a year. How they felt about each other. Not just sex or kissing, but real emotions, things that were whirling around Myungsu's brain and probably Byunghun's too. That conversation was for later, not for Christmas. Not for the few real moments of unencumbered happiness.


	18. Home

On New Year's Eve they let Sooah stay up long past her bedtime. They drank tea and played board games, until the clock showed midnight. Myungsu slipped away, snuck into their bedroom to retrieve the sack of fireworks Byunghun had found, the day they found the chickens. They'd hidden it, saving it for this exact moment. Myungsu pulled out a handful of fireworks, choosing the save the rest for a year from this moment, or even further into the future. He met Byunghun and Sooah outside, they were already standing on the balcony.

Myungsu handed Sooah some sparklers, which Byunghun lit with a lighter he'd been saving and they watched as she whirled them around in the air, lighting up the night. Myungsu looked up, the sky was clear, the air crisp and chilly, but not the bone chilling cold that was sure to come. He sent Byunghun and Sooah down and then lit off a few of the smaller fireworks, watching them go up and then watch Byunghun and Sooah.

Then he joined them and they walked to the park by the river. It was beautiful, snow had fallen earlier in the day, coating the ground with an inch. Their boots crunched on the newly fallen snow. The moon made the ground look like glittery crystals and neither Byunghun nor Myungsu stopped Sooah from running ahead of them. Byunghun reached over and looped his arm through Myungsu's as they walked to the park.

Myungsu found a spot and pointed the fireworks toward the lake, letting off several, making the night sky light up. The fireworks lit up the night sky again, their reflections bright in the water below. Sooah flopped down as Myungsu left off more and the only sound were the cracks of the fireworks. They weren't as nice as what would've been going off, had the world not ceased to be. But it was enough to mark the change of year.

They soon ran out of fireworks and Byunghun picked Sooah up, carrying her as they walked back to the hose. They stopped, just before leaving the park, and looked around. Sooah was asleep, arms around Byunghun's neck. The world was silent, there weren't even any echoes left of their fireworks. There weren't any other fireworks. Myungsu felt his heart stutter a little, ache worming through.

"Myungsu." Byunghun's voice was soft, but loud in the silence.

Myungsu turned. He saw Byunghun watching him, watched him reach out with a free hand and take Myungsu's hand in his own.

"We're not alone." He said, gently, as though he'd read Myungsu's mind. "We're together."

Myungsu stepped in close, then closer, then his mouth found Byunghun's and they kissed in the darkness, in the emptiness of Seoul. They weren't alone, he wasn't alone. They walked back to their house, their home, hand in hand.

As they walked through the tunnel, past the darkened buildings, once full of life, Myungsu felt as though they were only just holding the darkness, the loneliness, at bay. But when they rounded the corner, their house was lit with white fairy lights, ones that Myungsu hadn't even know were there. He stopped and looked over at Byunghun, who said nothing. Instead, he just kept walking. Myungsu trailed after him, mouth open a little.

They were both quiet, as though there was a spell not to be broken. Sooah didn't stir, not as they changed her into her pajamas and tucked her into bed. Myungsu turned her newest nightlight on, a Hello Kitty light that lit up her ceiling that was another closet find. It would go off in twenty minutes, in case she woke up, but he didn't expect her to wake up. They didn't turn any other lights on, though. Navigating the house in the dark, saving energy, but also part of that spell they weren't breaking. When Myungsu left Sooah's room, he saw Byunghun putting his jacket and boots back on and he did the same. Then he followed Byunghun down the stairs and outside.

Their house was beautiful at night. The whole city, even bathed in darkness without its' neon lights and people, was beautiful. If they were here, alone, Myungsu would take Byunghun back to the river, they'd stand there until they couldn't handle the cold. But they didn't go, they stayed by the house, leaning against the wall of the parking lot across the street.

"You did this?" Myungsu asked, though it was a stupid question.

Byunghun smiled, a lopsided smile that made Myungsu's insides twist. "For you."

"For me?" Myungsu repeated and he watched as Byunghun bridged the distance between them.

He nodded as he cupped Myungsu's face in his hands. "You and Sooah are my everything now." He said, softly. "Every day we tell Sooah how much we love her, but I never tell you how much I love you."

Myungsu's words were stuck in his throat, he had no idea what he was going to say and now he couldn't even speak. He looked at Byunghun, the words echoed around in his head. Byunghun was right, in a way. They haven't told each other how they feel, they haven't used words of love, but sometimes Myungsu felt it was unspoken. 

Byunghun's mouth met his, interrupting his train of thought. They kissed in the silence that wasn't silence at all. The world was alive around them, the same way they were alive with each other. Myungsu pulled back first, breathing hard. 

"I do love you." He finally said, his voice raw and rough. 

Byunghun shifted, settling in Myungsu's arms. "I know." 

Myungsu laughed, pulling Byunghun closer. He wanted to say something else, but words still eluded him. He felt too much, so many emotions crowding for control that he couldn't give voice to any of them. But it didn't matter, because Byunghun was talking. 

"The music." Byunghun began. They hadn't talked about it, though Myungsu felt they should've, that Byunghun had wanted to. "I didn't know how to thank you. I didn't … I didn't know …" 

And then, just like that, Byunghun inhabited the same world as Myungsu. The emotions were clear in his voice, on his face. Myungsu kissed his jaw, along his face, then on his mouth. Then he took a breath and spoke. 

"You didn't know you'd been missing it until it was there." Myungsu finished. 

Byunghun nodded and Myungsu could see his eyes sparkling in the glow of the lights. Myungsu dipped his head a little, kissing Byunghun again. But this time it's softer, slower. 

"And then," Myungsu murmured, his mouth moving against Byunghun's as he spoke, "and then you heard it and it was as though everything you'd been trying not to feel came tumbling down on top of you."

Byunghun didn't answer, instead he crushed Myungsu's mouth with his own. This kiss was different, darker, harder. It was the answer to Myungsu's unspoken question. It was everything they'd both been feeling all wrapped up in a kiss. 

They didn't talk as they made their way inside. Byunghun turning the lights off as they went, leaving a trail of darkness behind them. They both stopped outside Sooah's room, her door open a crack. She was sound asleep, curled up with the giraffe plushie she'd gotten for Christmas. Myungsu felt Byunghun's arms around him, face pressed against his shoulder. He turned and they made their way to their bedroom. 

In the morning, Sooah crawled in bed with them and they watched the snow that started to fall overnight. Myungsu looked at Byunghun and Sooah, at their house and he thought about his conversation last night with Byunghun, the sex they had later. It all added up quite easily in his head. He wasn't the kind of happy he ever thought he'd be. He wasn't free of worries, but they weren't the all encompassing kind he imagined when he was locked in that hotel room or even earlier, when he was living while people around him died. 

He caught Byunghun watching him and flashed him a grin. The tension he'd felt, that they'd felt, since before Christmas was gone. Instead, there was something else, a warmth between them. He knew what it was, he knew how he felt even before they talked. But now he understood it. Myungsu breathed in for a moment, then out, before he leaned over and kissed Byunghun before Sooah crawled onto his lap. This house of theirs was their home and together they were a family. He knew this, intellectually and emotionally, but now he felt it, he believed it, with all his heart.


	19. Winter

January arrived with a blizzard the likes neither had seen before. They shut the chickens up in their coop, though not before making them a home inside the house, on the lower level. It's not warm, but certainly warmer than outside. The next day, when they woke up, they saw the snow had piled high and they wouldn't have been able to get to the coop, much less feed the chickens.

The only path they cleared was to the outhouse. It's easier to clear, there's a covered walkway and both Byunghun and Myungsu shoveled it out throughout the day. Sometimes Sooah helped, but usually she stayed inside, keeping an eye on the fire and playing with her handheld. Sometimes they listen to music, sometimes they sing along to the pop songs.

Sooah discovered, in one of the rooms in the house they've turned into a greenhouse, a stash of pop CDs, both Western and Korean. Some of them Myungsu knew already, some of them Byunghun knew and by the end of the winter, they'll know all of them. Myungsu didn't mind, he liked the music filling up the house. Sometimes he found he forgot that this was the end of the world, that they were the only people around.

But then he'd look outside and see nothing by snow. From the kitchen window, he can't even see the walkway to the outhouse. He doesn't miss people as much, during the winter. Sooah and Byunghun are enough to keep him busy, at least most of the time. Sometimes, when Sooah was listening to music with headphones and Byunghun was elsewhere, Myungsu found he had too much time to think.

He'd sit, alone, on the porch, without turning on the heater, and stare out into the snow. He thought about his parents, his brother, his friends, everyone he knew who no longer existed. He knew he shouldn't dwell or that he should talk to Byunghun, but it hurt too much to think about, how was he supposed to talk about it? Not that they didn't talk, they talked all the time. After Sooah had gone to bed, while making dinner, even with Sooah. They didn't pretend the rest of the world ceased to exist, they embraced it, but that didn't make it any easier.

Maybe, Myungsu thought, if they'd run into other people, if they knew they weren't alone in the world ... but his thoughts would always trail off, leaving an ache in his chest, his heart, that neither Sooah nor Byunghun could fill.

He knew he wasn't the only one, the darkness crept at Byunghun, too. Myungsu could see it, just as Byunghun could see it in Myungsu. The only one free was Sooah and neither were sure that she wasn't haunted, too. But all they could do was move forward. Sometimes Myungsu thought of the people they left in the hotel, the old man who wanted to die and the dead bodies of those who'd starved to death or killed themselves. He'd wonder if maybe they were better off than his little family. But then he'd look around and he'd know they weren't.

He was alive, their family was alive. They weren't going to give up, especially not easily. They had days to celebrate, things to do for enjoyment and it helped remind Myungsu, remind all of them, that they were moving forward. That they were not just alive, but living.

Sooah's birthday came without cake, but there were candles, party hats, and chocolate that Byunghun and Myungsu had been hoarding for special occasions. Myungsu gave her one of the plushies he'd collected and Byunghun gave her some books. She seemed delighted, though there was sadness in her eyes. It was the same sadness that both he and Byunghun saw whenever they looked at each other. 

They stayed up late, playing games, listening to music and Myungsu promised them that he'd start working on the TV and the DVD player, as soon as they didn't have to stay indoors all the time. This seemed to appease Sooah and it made Byunghun smile. Myungsu knew that he probably wouldn't have to do a lot make things works. He and Byunghun had discussed how much power it would take to run the consoles, the dvd player and TV and it was doable. The problem, Myungsu confided to Byunghun, was that he was afraid that if they saw other people on TV, it might send them deeper into depression. 

They'd argued about it, late into the night, but in the end Byunghun had agreed. It would better to wait until spring, when they could be both inside and outside, when there were other things to occupy their, and Sooah's time, than the TV. They hadn't explained any of this to Sooah, but she didn't seem to mind. She understood they wanted to wait for a reason and didn't ask, though Myungsu could tell she wanted to. She was growing up too fast, and maybe they all were, even though neither he nor Byunghun were children anymore. 

After Sooah's birthday, the days seemed to bleed into one another. January seemed to drag, pulling them deeper into the cold. And the winter made it both harder and easier to keep moving forward. There was always something to do, but their chores, assigned on a piece of paper on the wall next to their lists, didn't always occupy their minds. But down time was the worst and there was a lot of it.

One afternoon, after Myungsu had finished the cleaning for the day, along with the laundry. He strung the laundry across the kitchen, the warmest room in the house during the day, instructing Sooah to check it every so often and fold what was dry. She sat at the table, drawing and listening to music. Myungsu went downstairs in search of Byunghun. He found him sitting among the chickens, holding one in his lap. He looked up when Myungsu walked into the room.

"We were lonely." Byunghun said and then looked startled, as if he hadn't meant to say that.

Myungsu unlocked the gate and swept the floor before joining Byunghun. He reached over and gently stroked the chicken's head. They had two months, maybe less, until the chickens would be mature enough to lay eggs and they'd grown to know all three of them, though they liked Sooah best. He rested his head on Byunghun's shoulder.

"It's only going to get worse." Myungsu said, softly.

"What?" Byunghun asked, though Myungsu was fairly certain they both knew the answer.

"The weather, the loneliness." Myungsu replied, softly.

Byunghun gently set the chicken down, who wandered off to the rest of the flock. He turned his head and kissed Myungsu, then stood up. He held out his hand and Myungsu took it, letting himself be hauled up off the floor.

"Maybe we're not the only ones. Maybe someone will ..." Byunghun started, then trailed off.

"Maybe." Myungsu said. He shared Byunghun's hope, but he had no confidence in it. He was about to say something, but Byunghun interrupted him.

"I want to show you something." He said and then gestured for Myungsu to follow him.

It was freezing, below freezing, outside. They donned winter jackets, boots, hats and gloves and Byunghun called upstairs, saying they were going next door. Sooah yelled that she heard and then the two of them went outside. January was almost over, though winter showed no signs of stopping. It was bitterly cold outside, the wind whipping at them. But the walk, they'd just started clearing it, was short and soon enough they were inside.

Byunghun flipped a switch, illuminating the workroom. Myungsu hadn't stopped in the room recently and he realized it looked much cleaner than before. Usually he passed through on his way up to the library or to Sooah's toy room to get her something if she hadn't wanted to go outside.

Myungsu watched as Byunghun crossed the room. He stopped in front of his workbench and then motioned for Myungsu to join him. Myungsu walked over, hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, though it wasn't quite as cold inside, even without the heater on.

"I've been ..." Byunghun started, then stopped. He held up a machine of some sort.

Myungsu stepped in closer and looked at the machine Byunghun was pointing at. "Is that a radio?"

Byunghun bit his bottom lip. "A ham radio." He said, quietly. "It's old, I've been trying to fix it." He points to a pile of tools on top of some books in English. "One of the flats we went through ..."

Myungsu looked over, surprised. He was slightly annoyed, why hadn't Byunghun told him, but then he took a breath. Before he could say anything, though, Byunghun spoke again.

"I wanted to tell you, when it was working and it's sort of working, but, I can't ... There's no one. I mean, there's no one nearby." Byunghun stopped.

"But?" He could tell there was more, he didn't know how he knew, but there was.

Byunghun smiled a soft, sweet half-smile. "I need a bigger antenna. If I had a bigger one, I might be able to reach someone outside of Seoul, Maybe in Japan or China." His smile widened more and Myungsu understood why he hadn't say anything.

He crossed over and leaned in, kissing Byunghun. "As soon as it's warmer, we'll find something, somewhere."

They looked at each other for a long time, the room silent. Myungsu saw something on Byunghun's face, something he hadn't expected to see, ever. There was hope. It was written in his skin, across his eyes. Myungsu leaned in and kissed him again. He could almost taste the hope. It didn't mean there were people out there, waiting to hear from them. Hear from other survivors, but it meant that they had something to hold onto.

"We should tell Sooah." Myungsu said.

"I don't want to get her hopes up." Byunghun said, hesitating.

Myungsu shook his head. "She needs to know. She needs this as much as we do." Myungsu watched as realization dawned on Byunghun's face, as the words sunk in.

They needed hope like they needed food and water, like they needed air, like they needed each other. And now, Myungsu thought, now maybe they had it.


	20. Hope

February came with blustery winds and cold temperatures, but no more snow. It didn't melt, but nothing was added to it, either. The days seemed to lengthen, the light lasting longer and longer. Myungsu and Byunghun, and sometimes Sooah, whittled down the list tacked to the wall. They made plans for gardens, using the park by the lake for any number of things.

"Farmland. Grazing. Maybe we could find sheep or cattle?" Byunghun mused over dinner one night.

Myungsu had wanted to argue, he didn't know what the chance of finding any animals alive after the winter was going to be. But then again, the animals had come from wild animals, a long time ago. Maybe they, like dogs and cats, reverted to some long lost instinctual behavior. After all, the chickens survived just fine without humans to feed and take care of them. So he hadn't argued, he'd just gotten out the map and they plotted their travels.

February also brought the beginning of Myungsu's attempts to get the TV working. The sun was out more and as they headed into March, the weather grew warmer. By the second week of March, and Myungsu's birthday, he'd gotten the TV and DVD player hooked up and figured out the right voltage to make them run off of either the car batteries or the solar panels.

They celebrated his birthday with movies, something Myungsu had never expected to do. They ate dinner, drank tea and ate chocolate all while watching TV. There were kids movies for Sooah and action films for both Byunghun and Myungsu. They'd both, independently and together, collected all sorts of movies. It was fun, Myungsu thought, until a few days later.

Even Sooah hadn't asked to watch anymore TV. They'd binged, enjoying themselves as though the world hadn't changed at all. But the longer Myungsu thought about it, the harder it was to accept that the world changed. His worries were well founded, but at the same time he didn't regret it. It had been nice to see other people, even though they were long dead. It was almost comforting to hear voices talking, to pretend, even just for a little while, that things were normal.

But, of course, that wasn't their normal. Theirs was different, darker, much quieter. And it eventually returned to their lives. 

Halfway through March the snow melted. They'd been collecting water and storing it next door and they had plenty to get them through the spring. The chickens had been moved back outside and one morning Sooah came upstairs with a small basket of eggs. Not all were good, but some were. And, for the first time in a very long time, they had eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Byunghun started working on the truck they'd take on their trip to find animals and Myungsu began his gardening. He and Sooah would walk to the park every day and work on tilling the soil by hand. They'd found, in a store they'd missed, a hand tiller. Myungsu wondered why the person had it and Sooah said maybe it was an antique. Myungsu hadn't argued, after all he didn't care why it was there, just that it existed. They'd been using shovels before and this was far easier.

They planted some of the seeds he'd gotten for Christmas and then went in search of fencing to keep wild animals away. They'd seen more of them. Not just dogs and cats, but deer and rabbits, too. It was strange, seeing wildlife in Seoul, but at the same time it was nice knowing, as it had been the previous year, that life continued on. It also gave Myungsu hope that they might find other animals alive.

The fencing proved hard to find, until they took their first trip in the truck, full of gas that Byunghun had siphoned off of other trucks and cars. They stopped at the first village they stumbled upon and while they didn't find any animals or people, they did find lots of fencing. They took it back and fenced in Myungsu's garden, which seemed to be growing, though slowly as it was still cold even now that it was April. They also build another fenced in area, just in case they found sheep or cattle, or even both.

April also showed them how much of the city nature had taken back. Vines were creeping up buildings, grass grew without care and trees seemed to be taking over. Myungsu didn't know how long it would take, or even if they'd live that long, but one day the city would be overrun with nature. He found he didn't mind too much. Their little spot in the world was the only civilization they needed, at least for now.

Myungsu had all but forgotten about the ham radio until one day, on the way back from the park with Sooah, he'd looked up. He realized that they were surrounded by tall buildings with antenna on them. He had to stop himself from running back home. Instead, he just hurried his pace a little, letting Sooah run ahead, oblivious to his excitement mixed with anxiety. He kept his thoughts to himself through dinner and after, afraid of giving them all too much hope.

The hope from the ham radio had gotten them through the darkest parts of the winter, through the loneliness that plagued them after Myungsu got the TV working again. And now, with May a few days away, Myungsu had found the solution to their antenna problem. He did the dishes quietly, while Sooah played a videogame on the TV, the only reason they even used the TV now, in the other room. They read her a bedtime story, though she could read them to herself, or to them. But this was a tradition they were all loathe to give up. 

Myungsu waiting until Sooah was asleep, then joined Byunghun on the porch. He was standing, looking out the window at the fading daylight. Myungsu slid his hand into Byunghun's, but didn't look at him. He didn't want to be too excited, he didn't want to hope too much. It was hard to keep it inside and after what felt like forever, he finally found the words.

"Byunghun." He began, softly, and went on without waiting for any response. He knew Byunghun was listening. "We're surrounded by tall buildings. And on top of all these buildings are antenna. Any one of them would work." He said, the words coming out in a rush.

Byunghun pulled free and turned to look at Myungsu. His eyes went wide and Myungsu could imagine the million thoughts running through his head. They were the same that had run through Myungsu's earlier in the day. Byunghun took a step forward, then another. Myungsu's face was in his hands and then they were kissing. Byunghun tasted like hope, he tasted like the future.

The next day they woke up early. Myungsu and Sooah prepared and packed lunch and dinner while Byunghun gathered all of his equipment together. They picked the tallest building in the area and made their way through dusty halls and dirty stairs, all the way to the top. For a moment they stood, the three of them, along a wall that looked out over their part of Seoul and then across the Han River at Gangnam. It looked both dead and alive all at the same time, though Myungsu didn't know if it was his imagination or if it really looked that way.

Then Sooah spread out a blanket in a shaded corner, mostly hidden from the wind, and began to read. Byunghun began hooking up his equipment and radio to the antenna, while Myungsu read through some of the ham radio books he'd brought. He didn't know how long they'd have to wait and after a while he stopped reading and instead watched Byunghun. 

They spent many afternoons on the top of the building, the rest of their plans falling to the wayside. As the days got warmer, they spent several nights on top of the building. It was the middle of May when Myungsu realized they'd been living in the house for a year. They decided, after having not spent a couple of nights on the top of the building, to spend a night up there. The sky was clear, full of stars, and Myungsu thought he could see the Milky Way. 

Sooah sat off to the side, a flashlight in her hand as she lit the pages of her star gazing book Myungsu had found in the library. They kept going there, always finding new books. Myungsu didn't know what would happen when they ran out of books. Maybe they'd have to find another library. He watched Sooah set the flashlight down, study the book, which glowed in the dark, and then look up at the night sky. 

He smiled to himself and then turned to look at Byunghun. He was fiddling with the ham radio, changing frequencies and reading out the call sign for Seoul. Myungsu was only half paying attention and almost missed it. The radio crackled with static. And then there was a voice. 

"JA1. This is JA1. I am Ryo from Tokyo. Is anyone out there?" 

Byunghun looked over at Myungsu, who stared back at him. Sooah had run over as soon as she heard the static on the radio. Sooah's hand found his and then two of them crossed the short distance to stand with Byunghun. His hands were shaking, Myungsu could tell in the dim light from the lantern he'd strung up nearby. Myungsu reached out and gripped Byunghun's hand. 

And, then after a moment of silence, Byunghun replied. "HL1. This is HL1. We're out here. This is Byunghun, Myungsu and Sooah. We're in Seoul and we're alive." 

Silence, and then the voice came again in thick, accented English. "Oh my god. You're really there. You're alive. This is Ryo from Tokyo, there are fifty of us here. We're alive and you are not alone." 

Myungsu felt tears on his face, he saw them on Sooah's as he picked her up and when he looked at Byunghun, he was crying, too. They weren't alone and this was hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this! This is probably one of the few fics I spent a lot of time researching. I don't have any knowledge of Ham radios, the streets of Seoul, remodeling, solar power, or farming, but I figured that these characters would be smart enough to figure this stuff out. And as a former librarian, the books they found would be very helpful to them in a world without the internet. 
> 
> If you're interested in a timeline of the events in this story as well as the real locations that I mentioned, you can find them all [here](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1NhO2yCiR-CXLB34gHoQB9xrDpDa59ELQJQQFo-gBUdE/edit?usp=sharing) (Google Sheets document). You'll notice that there are a lot of Bing maps links, this is because Bing does walking and driving directions for Seoul, while for street view, you'll want to use Google Maps. I've included GPS coordinates for all the places Myungsu, Byunghun, and Sooah went. 
> 
> Again, thanks for reading! I hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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